SEX - CHALLENGING MONOGAMY
Boy meets girl and they fall in love. A white gown made for a princess is purchased, and a kiss full of promises is planted. An expensive ring that may as well be made from fool's gold cradles the flesh of a finger, and it all ends more like a traditional Grimm's fairy tale than a Disney movie.
At the risk of sounding like Dan Savage's mocking bird, Sex at Dawn is an intelligent, witty, well-researched book about why we cheat and why so many traditional monogamous relationships fail. Basically, you can dress us up in a suit and gown, but it can be said by some that humans are not monogamous creatures. Forget the guilt trip that society, your church, your partner, whoever is giving you; it's totally normal to be in love with someone but still want to fuck about one out of 20 people you see walking down the street. And yes, although it is possible to have urges and not act on them, some people find that it makes their lives easier to have their cake and eat it too ... literally.
Despite how great my sex life is with my boyfriend, he's not Buck Angel, he doesn't also come with a pussy. A non-monogamous relationship is a little tricky for me because I have OCD and am convinced that everyone is going to give me AIDS. I'm working on that because I honestly believe the best way to stay with the LOMF forever is to allow each of us to hook up with someone else every once in a while. Yes, the best thing about an open relationship is getting to fuck other people, and the worst part is your partner fucking other people, but I'd rather let my boyfriend fool around with some hot Asian he met at a Radiohead show than keep him on a leash and have our relationship explode years down the road when I find out he's secretly fucking our baby-sitter. There's a vast difference between sex and love.
If you are going to try an open relationship there are basic guidelines, like always use protection with the person outside your relationship. Another is honesty. Be honest with any outside sexual partners about your relationship to minimize broken hearts. Every couple is different, you can arrange the particulars. Perhaps you are OK with oral sex with others but not vaginal or anal. Perhaps you never want your partner to spend the night with someone else. Yes, things can get messy. Any relationship can.
There are plenty of reasons to be monogamous. The choice is yours. But if you do insist on a totally monogamous relationship, for fuck's sake don't forbid your partner from watching porn unless you want them to end up crying in the lap of an escort.
DRUGS - BOLIVIANA NEGRA
I've always felt that plants are innocent victims slaughtered by the drug war. You can't blame the cannabis plant for its THC or coca plants for their psychoactive alkaloid, it's just the way nature made them. And sometimes despite human efforts, as we learned in Jurassic Park -- life finds a way. In this case, with the help of some very clever Colombian farmers.
The Boliviana negra, also known as "super coca" or "la millionaira" depending on the region, is a coca plant that is resistant to the isopropylamine salt glyphosate, used in the herbicide Roundup. The story of Boliviana negra was expertly detailed by Joshua Davis in a November 2004 issue of Wired. Old but interesting news, I was originally planning on writing about the more natural means of ingesting the coca plant; chewing the leaves and drinking coca tea, and stumbled upon Boliviana negra in my research.
The U.S. has spent billions of dollars in coca eradication as part of the War on Drugs. A large component of coca eradication is the use of Monsanto Company's herbicide Roundup, as part of the military efforts to destroy the plant after Columbia and the United States signed Plan Columbia in 2000. The use of Roundup is controversial for its detrimental environmental and health effects. Along with the fever and diarrhea the aerial spraying gave indigenous children, Roundup was quite effective in killing off coca plants. Until that is, Boliviana negra came along. It's existence originally was befuddling; people were unsure if it was created in a lab through genetic modification or through selective breeding by coca farmers. Though testing Davis was able to conclude it was produced through selective breeding. Once one farmer grew it he could sell its cuttings to another, and so on and so on.
The ironic part of all of this is as the resistant strand spread, the aerial spraying had the opposite effect the government intended -- the coca plants thrived as the farmers got free weeding. Something to think about next time you dip your nose in a baggie.
ROCK 'N' ROLL - CHILD ACTOR
These days my music library reads like a pedophile's Google search history: "Teengirl Fantasy," "TEEN," and now "Child Actor."
Emerging from the electric jungle of indie R&B, of the same tribe as Policia and Purity Ring, Child Actor is made of New England cousins Max Heath and Sedgie Ogilvy. They're lucky they don't come from the South, or else I'd take advantage of the obvious jokes to be made here. Their upcoming LP is the pair's first together, coming after two EPs released earlier this year. You may know producer Max from his work with Ceschi in Anonymous Inc. Max handles production, the lovely Sedgie delivers vocals that sound like tears of joy in a time of sadness.
If Child Actor were a drug they would be a strong pull of Indica enhanced by the remnants of a benzo dissolved on your tongue earlier. Sexually, their music feels like fucking seated in bed, legs wrapped around one another, gazing into your lover's eyes as you rock together...both the position and drug combo are favorites of mine, so you can tell I really dig these guys.
Their Victory LP comes out October 16 on Fake Four. Stream "If You Loved Me" below.