Political Commentators I'd Like Morrissey to Write a Song About
Dec 6 2012
[Photoshop By Charlie Ambler]
Song Title: “In The Lair of the Lizard King”
This is the smoky, rough-and-tumble rocker. Lots of strings, maybe a vaguely rootsy vibe. It’s a character portrait; Morrissey is desperately trying to sort his feelings out for James Carville. His weird serpentine glamour both arresting and aesthetically resistant. Morrissey debates himself, his taste, his lust, and his candor. Eventually he decides that he can’t contradict matters of the heart, and accepts James’ invitation back to his wooden bayou house on the Lousiana coastline. It turns out James Carville has an excellent record collection. The southern drawl seeps into his pro-social rhetoric, and they fall in love forever and ever. The listener has no idea it is James Carville until Morrissey rhymes “ziggurat” with “southern democrat.”
Song Title: “The Bourbon-Haired Saint”
We open with a drift of disciplined piano notes, and a cascading, anxious guitar. Brian Williams is the world’s reassurer, but who reassures the reassurer? Moz tells us of Brian Williams lonely car-ride home, as he questions all the flimsy truths he just let loose on the world. A single tear rolls down his eye as the parking attendant asks for his autograph. At this point it becomes clear that Morrissey is using his coined “Bourbon-Haired Saint” in wicked spite, and the listener ponders why on earth Morrissey hates the NBC Nightly News anchor with such profound vitriol. As the horns pick up, he describes in detail how Brian Williams lets all of the animals in his house run wild and free into the neighbors yard. Brian Williams ignores both his wife and kids, and slowly cries himself to sleep. The trombone lingers for another 45 seconds.
Read the rest over at Noisey.
The Crack-Smoking Crime Reporter Who Covered America's Crack Epidemic
What the Fuck Is Going on in 'Lucy'?
The Story of Colorado's DIY Skater Tattoo Parlor
Meet Ratchet Regi, the Ratchet Queen of the Gathering of the Juggalos
Missouri Is a Pill Lover's Paradise
Journalists and Attorneys Are Increasingly Adopting Spycraft
I Attended a Juggalo Wedding at the Gathering of the Juggalos
I Hunted Feral Hogs in Florida as a Favor to the World
My Week with Sydney
Reasons Why Comic-Con Is the Worst Place Ever