POP VOX - ONE MINUTE IN TIME-TRAVEL HEAVEN

This game evolved from a conversation we were having about how strong weed has gotten. The deal is this: You've got one minute to travel back in time and talk to your teenage self. It's totally up to you what you say to you—it can be practical advice or you could just try to blow your own mind about iPods or whatever, the only catch is if you use your minute to tell yourself what stocks to buy or how to bet on the Superbowl you are a boring asshole. Obviously, this whole operation opens up some pretty major questions about the linearity of time and chronol loops and disrupting the present and blah blah blah, but whatever, you've got your minute and you've got to use it—no dorking out. Let's go. (Oh, and ours was "In the future the guys from Orchid got fat and weed is so strong that people hate it.")

Vice: So, if now-you had one minute to talk to high-school-you, what would now-you say?
Lina: Go out more, relax, stop taking so many AP classes. You’ll live.
"Stop being such nerd, you nerd."
Basically, yes.

Vice: You've got one minute to talk to your younger self about whatever you want. What do you want to talk about?
Dominic: Break up with your girlfriend immediately.
Nice.
Also, don’t be such a smart-ass, you definitely don’t know it all.

Vice: If you could time-travel back to whenever you were a teen for one minute, what would say to yourself?
Jaimie: I would tell myself to have sex with Daniel Warren Kline. He was my best friend in middle school and I was always over at his house but I never took advantage of the fact.
Why not?
He was a huge nerd. He wore this Pink Floyd The Wall sweatshirt all the time, and he had his hair all long in the back and short in the front and this thin little patch of mustache hair that had barely grown in.
A pubestache.
Yeah, I really blew it.

Vice: You now and you in high school have one minute to talk. What do you say?
Andrew: I’d tell myself to stop being such a douche.

Ouch!
I went to prep school, so I was very preppy and snotty, and now I’ve grown tired of it.

Vice: If you had one minute to talk to you back in your teens, what would you say?
Katherine: You’re so cool, you don’t even know. You don’t even understand how cool you are. It’s OK.

So you’re saying you were cool?
I was. I didn’t think I was cool. Why didn’t I know I was so hot and sexy?

Vice: You've got one minute with high-school you and then it's back to the present/future. What do you tell you?
Erik: Hmmm. The time limit makes it tough. If I had enough advanced warning I'd try to compile a list of all the times I got busted and all the times I thought I was going to get busted but didn't. Can I give myself things during the visit?
Nope.
OK, then I'd just have my past self memorize the list as quickly as possible, so I'd avoid shit like getting caught in the park with pot but also wouldn't have to stress out about getting in trouble when I was actually in the clear.
Sounds good, but what if you had to do it on the spot and couldn't do any research though? Remember, one minute.
In that case, I would tell myself that I ended up gay.
You'd come out to yourself?
I guess so, but I'm straight, so really I'd just be fucking with myself.

Vice: Imagine you now could talk to you in high school for a minute. How would it go?
Bob: I would be more forward with a girl that I know now that I didn’t know then. But now, I wish I knew the girl. In high school.

Wait, you wish you were more forward with a girl you didn't know? But now you do know her?
Yes. Because now I’m in college and she’s a senior in high school.

But that’s not really a problem. Why don't you just "be forward" with her now and save your time-minute for something better?
Oh, I find it OK. It’s not my problem. I’m kind of my biggest fan.

What?