Songs can make us cry, or make us smile, or make us horny, or make us want to jump into other people going “YAAAHHH! FUCK YEAH, SLIPKNOT.” Songs can reach deep into our brains or our hearts or wherever the parts of us that make us human reside, and put emotions there. It’s like magic. But some songs aren’t like that. Some songs just put these fucking riffs in your head that make you want to pour concrete into your ears until you can’t hear anything anymore. So, people of Earth, what’s the most annoying song ever written?
Andy: The “Happy Birthday” song.
It grates after a while. I think it’s time for a new one.
What would you sing for someone’s birthday then?
I think you should make it up for whoever’s birthday it is. It has to come from the heart; it should mean something.
My birthday’s in three days, can you make one up for me?
OK… [singing] Your birthday’s in three days/ I’ll sing you happy birthday then. It’s bad luck/ to say it before… I can’t think of one right now, my mind is all screwed up.
Harley: Oh man—“This is Why I’m Hot.”
That’s a good one.
Kay: Anything that’s like reggaeton. It’s worse than Pitbull. Like, “Gasolina.”
Harley: Wait, that girl who sings “Friday.” That takes the cake, all the way. That’s the worst shit I’ve ever heard.
Jonathan: Ever? Oh, “Moves Like Jagger.”
Lola: What about “Call Me Maybe”?
Jonathan: What is that?
Lola: You know it goes like, “Maaaybeee!”
Jonathan: Don’t know it. I’m the biggest Beatles fan, but I hate “Good Day, Sunshine.”
By Amy Winehouse?
Because you’re supposed to go to rehab! That’s why people get stuck in ruts, because they don’t give themselves a chance, you know.
Reshawn: “Baby” by Justin Bieber.
I don’t know; it’s just so annoying to me. I guess it’s his voice, I don’t know. I can’t listen to it.
Like most Bieber songs.
Yeah, but especially that one with the amount of time he repeats the word “baby.” Like, why?
Ezra: That’s a hard question. I mean Justin Bieber—like whatever he’s doing his thing, but he is really annoying. He’s making a lot of money I guess.
That’s not a very original answer.
Ezra: Actually, there are some annoying-ass rap songs, even though I love rap.
Alex: Yo, “Bling Bling” is fucking annoying. It’s by the Hot Boyz.
Ezra: “Holiday Inn” by Chingy was pretty bad. That shit was annoying. Do you remember that? It played non-stop.
I remember—those were dark times.
Paul: Maybe like, the “Macarena” or something. I know it’s a wedding song and I love music, but I don’t like that genre of music. I don’t know what genre that is actually. What is it, like, merengue or something? Latina? My God, I get annoyed when I hear it. In fact, at the weddings I get kind of nauseous. I don’t do it; I don’t fall in line with the “Macarena” dance. When it comes on, I’d probably get another whiskey or hide in the restroom. Doesn’t vibe with me.
Adrian: I don’t remember what the song is called.
Do you want to sing it?
Not really… Wait, do you know that song on YouTube when you get Rick Roll’d or whatever?
“Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley. A classic of the genre.
Chris: You have to give me a minute.
Take your time.
“Fly Like A G6.”
It’s the most repetitive thing I’ve ever heard in my whole life.
You haven’t heard many repetitive songs, then.
Yeah, but that song is so annoying to me. The lyrics, everything is just bad.
Previously - What Did You Want to Be When You Grew Up?