Bros Before Hos?
Aug 14 2012
Welcome to Question of the Day. It's time to sort out your priorities.
Friends are weird people. I mean, you think they're your pals and then they do something like put their testicles in your beer when you're not looking. Or shit on your head while you're sleeping. Or text things like "Let me fuck you in the ass or I'll try to kill myself (again). Lots of love, xxx" to your mom from your phone when it's your birthday.
But so what, 'cause they're still your buddies, right? You'd lie down in traffic for them and they'd do the same for you. And no matter what, your bros will never take your girl. Or even bail on you for a girl. Well, actually, my friend did that once and I was stranded in some shit town and ended up sleeping in a bush. The girl he ended up with was actually a transsexual who let him suck her off, even though he'd initially been really rude and embarrassed when he found out. He made me promise I'd never tell anyone. Well, Si, now the world knows. Serves you right for leaving me high and dry. Dick.
VICE: Bros before hos?
Sain: My wife.
Your wife is your bro?
You wouldn’t leave her?
No, no, no.
Herman (left): I don't understand?
If you're out with your friend, would you ditch him for a girl?
Daniele (right): Ohhh, a girl! Hahaha we go together.
Oh, I see.
We do everything together!
Herman: Not with this man in front of the camera, please.
Rich: Bros. No, hos!
Sorry. Bros before hos. Buds before girls?
Ohhh... Well, I wouldn’t get on my friend's girl, but I would ditch him. I'm my own man.
Ryan, 19: Hos.
Just like that, you’d leave your friends?
Obviously, but I’m a slut. Depends if they have a lot of money as well.
So rich but ugly, that’s fine?
Doesn’t that make you the ho?
I’m paying for the ho. But I'm a less extreme version of the ho.
Would you ever choose a lady over your man friends?
My sons? [points at men who we can assume are his sons]
Yeah, why not.
Would they ditch you?
No [looks at sons who are nodding]. Oh, OK.
James: All the way, hos!
Ben (left) and Chris: Bros.
So you wouldn't fuck each other over for a girl?
Chris: There's some serious bromance going on here.
Would you take him with you?
Ben: Depends on her, if she's steaming fit or not. Is she a keeper or a "smash and dash" kind of girl?
Uhhh, the woman behind you?
Previous - Which Dinosaur Is the Sexiest?
AssMatrix.com Analyzes the Asses of the Masses
Should We Televise the Trials of Famous Murderers?
Having a Tibetan Sky Burial Means Birds Will Slowly Eat Your Corpse
I Had to Survive London Fashion Week on Free Gifts Alone
The Scottish Independence Campaign Lost Because It Didn't Win Over Glasgow's Poor
Time-Travel Movies Are Garbage
Cambodian Surf Rockers Were Awesome, but the Khmer Rouge Killed Them
I Dressed Like an Idiot at Fashion Week to See How Easy It Is to Get Street-Snapped
The Ultimate Basic Bitch Tournament
The Future of Our Gay Neighborhoods