How Do You Vibe?
Aug 9 2012
AIDS may have diminished society’s tolerance for free love, but Trojan is here to give us the gift of free electronic self-love. For the past two days, the venerable company has been distributing free vibrators in New York City from hot dog vendor-like carts. This is part of their push to pull off the biggest handout of free vibrators ever. We caught up with one of these pleasure-providing carts yesterday in the Flatiron District of New York City. Shockingly, dozens of people (even super old people!) stood in the middle of the street to wait for a free sex toy. Luckily, we got there before the whole thing was shut down by the police for some bullshit about permits. We made it in just enough time to ask some folks our simple little question of the day: How do you vibe?
VICE: How do you vibe?
Taylor: I don’t really.
So it’s not for you? Is it for your girlfriend?
What do you think of this event?
A free vibrator’s a free vibrator, right?
What are you and your girlfriend or whoever going to do with it?
No idea. But, why not?
Tiffany: I vibe with lots of music, all night long, hard, until I pass out.
Are you excited about Trojan handing out vibrators?
I am excited, as it’s my birthday weekend, so this is like a gift to myself.
Happy birthday! Which kind are you gonna get?
Whatever they give me. I’m not picky. I make it all work.
Leah: How do I vibe?
Like with lights or music or something.
I vibe with music and free things.
And what do you think about the event getting shut down?
I think it sucks because I didn’t get one yet.
I’m sorry. And what were you going to do if you got one?
I’m pretty sure we were all planning on going home and testing them out.
Did you think this was a good idea?
I thought this was a great idea. Obviously a lot of people showed up and everything.
And what do you think of the overarching implications of the event, such as making female masturbation mainstream?
I think it’s great. I mean, we’re all doing it, right?
These women wished to be kept anonymous. They were skipping work.
How do you vibe?
Sneakers: In what context?
I think the context is with vibrators.
Sneakers: Well in that case I use tumblr. I have a tumblr that’s just for porn.
Sandals: That was gonna be my answer.
The whole wide world of tumblr porn.
Sneakers: Yeah. But I also fantasize about superheroes.
What kind of superheroes?
Sneakers: The Avengers. Have you seen them?
Sandals: Have you seen their asses? Captain America? Perfect.
How do you guys feel about the cart getting shut down? I know you were near the front of the line, did you manage to get one?
Sandals: I think only about 50 people got one, and then they shut them down.
Sneakers: And we don’t know where they’re moving now.
Sandals: I think this is just going to turn into insanity now.
Sneakers: Everyone’s sexually frustrated.
What do you think of the message of the event? Do you think it’s sex positive, feminist, things like that?
Sandals: Oh yeah definitely. I’m surprised there weren’t protestors or anything.
Sneakers: I love how many women, and men, are here to get their sex toys.
Helene: Are you serious? How do I vibe? I vibe in every single way in the world. First of all, v is my favorite letter. And I’ve actually been vibing since I was ten years old with my parents’ electric toothbrush.
Good to know. And what do you think of this event.
Well I’m pissed that the police shut them down, because I think this is the greatest event in the world. But what am I gonna do?
Did you not get one?
No, did anyone get one?
I got one. Do you see this as a feminist event?
Abso-fucking-lutely. This is the greatest thing ever. There’s women everywhere, women of all ages, and men as well. It’s great because finally we can take care of ourselves, and it’s nothing to be embarrassed about.
Anonymous Giant Man: How do I vibe? I might read Vibe or I might listen to some music, but that’s about it.
How do you vibe with Trojan?
I use them if need be.
Are you getting this for yourself or someone else?
Is this for butt-vibing a special fella?
This is for my wife...
Oh. That’s nice. You’re a nice husband.
I try, I try.
You don’t mind your wife using one?
Nah. And it’s free, why not?
She might found out she likes it too much.
Chris: Is that metaphorical or literal?
Anything you want.
I’ve actually never vibed literally.
No. I’m seeking new vibes here. I’m vibeless! It’s very sad. I don’t vibe. That’s sad. That’s so sad.
So that’s why you’re here? Because you don’t vibe?
Yes. I just want to vibe.
What do you think of the event in terms of its sex-positive connotations?
I love it. I love that people are out here, I love that some family walked by and that no one had any shame about saying they were getting vibrators.
I guess we’re rebelling from our nation’s puritanical roots.
Yes. Puritanism is only good for so much. Why not have a little fun?
This crowd does seem pretty un-repressed.
That’s New York for you!
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