What Kind of Dinosaur Would You Be?
Jul 12 2012
Dinosaurs were some bad motherfuckers back in the day. They had sharp teeth, ate each other, and could grow bigger than the Coney Island Wonder Wheel. If it wasn't for that big ass asteroid that hit Earth a long time ago, they would still be around today making the water in cups ripple and turning Newman from Seinfeld into Sunday brunch.
Anybody with half a brain recognizes how cool these creatures were when they had their turn at the top of the food chain, the real conundrum is which kind of dinosaur was the best. Like, would it be better to be a gigantic t. rex or a nimble velociraptor? A flying pterodactyl or a spiky stegosaurus? We hit the streets of New York to find out.
Tommy, works at Nordstrom
Tommy: Actually, I just went to the new Dinosaurs Park in Secaucus, New Jersey.
Was it like Jurassic Park?
Yeah, you should go. They have fake dinosaurs, big electronic ones that move, and it's a really fun experience.
Which was your favorite?
The t. rex is awesome. They have great personalities and could kick your ass.
Jim, professor at NYU
Jim: I am not a dinosaur fancier. I know a lot of kids that can say all of the names perfectly and are utterly captivated, but I would have to say that I am not a part of that culture.
What if you could be a dinosaur?
I wouldn't want to be. To me, the whole culture of the dinosaurs, all that dinosaurs represent, is something that properly came and went. It's not something that interests me. I'm just happy sitting on this bench.
Judy: Um, the t. rex?
Because it's the biggest.
Is that the only dinosaur you know?
Henny, being an awesome kid who wears Gogol Bordello t-shirts
Henny: The swamp dinosaur.
Because it lives in the swamp in the deep dark night.
Do you want to live in a swamp?
Matty, visual merchandiser
Matty: The triceratops, because it comes with three horns.
As opposed to?
A di-ceratops or a uni-ceratops.
I didn't know those existed.
I don't know either, but three is the best.
Is three your lucky number?
Moses, being a decent human being
Moses: I guess representative democracy, because it's totally outdated and reeks havoc across the entire planet.
That's your favorite dinosaur?
I consider it a dinosaur, though it's not extinct.
Oh, was that like a political joke? It wasn't funny. Really, what's your favorite dinosaur?
Do you remember what kind Little Foot was? The one with the long neck who ate a lot of leafy greens?
I think he was a brontosaurus.
I'm into that.
Is it because you're a vegetarian?
Yea, I don't eat animals.
So you don't eat dinosaurs?
You're missing out.
This Guy Has Been Trolling Neo-Nazis for Nearly a Decade
These Guys Made Up a Fake Case to Get on 'Judge Judy'
A Masturbation Lawsuit Is Rattling Christian Homeschoolers
VICE News: London's Holy Turf Wars
VICE Loves Magnum: Peter Marlow's Incredible Photos of Eerie Crises
What Did and Didn't Suck at Record Store Day 2014
The SS Doctor Who Converted to Islam and Escaped the Nazi Hunters
This Guy Is Trying to Collect Every Single Copy of the Movie 'Speed' on VHS
Bad Cop Blotter: Is Obama Finally About to Use His Pardon Powers to Set Prisoners Free?
Weediquette: T. Kid the Cannabis Cup Judge