Which Celebrity Do You Want to See Naked?
Feb 28 2012
This one is pretty straightforward. We asked a bunch of people who they would most like to see naked. Turns out it's actors, politicians, and even a dead guy.
Eleanor: Bill Clinton.
Oh yeah? He’s kind of hot.
He’s very hot. So I’d like to see him naked.
What do you find so attractive about him?
I think he’s smart, I think he’s charismatic, and I think he’s pretty damn good looking. I would try and steal him away from Hillary but I doubt I could.
Olivia: I don’t know… Wait, I want to think about this because now I’m thinking about everyone naked.
It would probably be a woman. I really love Penelope Cruz.
'Cause she’s hot.
What’s so hot about her?
She’s just that sexy, vibrant Latin woman that everyone loves. Right? I assume everyone likes her. She always plays the sexy, mysterious one.
What’s her sexiest role?
Definitely Vicky Cristina Barcelona.
Is she naked in that?
I don’t think she gets naked but she plays a psycho and she has a threesome with Scarlett Johansson and Javier Bardem. Oh, I’d like to see him naked too.
Would you like to see them naked together?
Yes. Can I be naked too?
Joe: Jessica Alba.
What’s your favorite movie of hers?
A bunch of them. I don’t know. Fantastic Four.
Why would you want to see Jessica Alba naked?
What do you think is the sexiest part of her body?
Just her eyes?
Well I haven’t seen any other parts.
What do you imagine to be the sexiest part of her body?
Her breasts, since she had a kid.
Gary: Haha I’ve seen a lot of them naked. There are so many of them I’ve seen. I’m over celebrities.
How about not a celebrity, just a public figure?
Oh, OK. Sarah Palin. Yeah, she’s pretty.
Do you think her looks affect her success in politics?
I don’t know, that’s hard to say. But I think she’s a pretty woman.
How do you imagine her looking naked?
I’m not sure but she must look good. She’s well shaped. I’ve seen her dressed up and I’ve seen her in jeans. She looks good.
So she looks good in casual and business casual attire?
Yeah, she’s pretty. I don’t know much about the politics. I know she was the governor of Alaska, right?
Julian: Jerry Garcia. He plays the guitar in the Grateful Dead.
[Ed note: We don’t know whether Julian knows Garcia’s been dead for nearly two decades, but we didn’t want to break the news.]
Why do you think he’s so sexy?
Because every time Jerry Garcia has been naked there have been 20 naked bitches around him doing crazy shit. And then I can just sort of finagle my way up into the situation, seeing that I’m more limber and movable than Jerry.
Nicole: I guess I’d have to say Ryan Gosling.
Did you see Drive?
I did see Drive. It kind of sucked but I was looking out for him.
What do you think would be the sexiest thing on his body?
You like backs?
I do like backs. I like height too though. That’s really important.
Any last remarks about Ryan Gosling?
If you’re out there my name is Nicole. Hey Ryan.
Nick: Barack Obama.
I don’t know, maybe he would be a little more honest than he’s been with us for the last years.
How has he been dishonest?
Oh, there’s a list. There’s the fact that Guantanamo Bay is still open, he ramped up the invasion of Afghanistan when he said he was going to pull it back, same thing with Iraq. “Don’t ask, don’t tell,” which he did repeal but it took him two years to get around to it and his entire stance on Wall Street before his election versus his stance on Wall Street after his election.
And where would you like to see him naked?
At the podium in the Rose Garden on TV in front of the country.
Scott: I’ve got to go with Angelina Jolie 'cause she’s so beautiful.
Is it her face? Her body?
Yeah, I love her lips.
Her eyes, her great cheeks, great smile.
Where would you want to see her naked?
Probably outdoors in a forest. I wouldn’t do anything with her though because I have a girlfriend.
Previously – Who Was that Guy Hosting the Oscars Last Night?
Meet Ratchet Regi, the Ratchet Queen of the Gathering of the Juggalos
Missouri Is a Pill Lover's Paradise
Journalists and Attorneys Are Increasingly Adopting Spycraft
I Attended a Juggalo Wedding at the Gathering of the Juggalos
I Hunted Feral Hogs in Florida as a Favor to the World
My Week with Sydney
Reasons Why Comic-Con Is the Worst Place Ever
An Interview with a Guy Who Can't Sleep Because He Is Afraid of Dying
A Rigged Indian Casino Karaoke Contest Was the Low Point of My Life
The Jim Norton Show: Mike Tyson and Dana White - Part 2