Who Gets to Keep the Ring?
Apr 24 2012
Photo by Lele Saveri
Breaking up with a significant other is always hard. It’s a delicate situation that, if it’s to be done amicably, requires a great deal of tact and understanding from both parties. When the breakup is between a couple that is engaged, however, things get even more complicated because of the 24-carat elephant in the room. Who gets to keep the engagement ring? Is it a gift that the woman should do whatever she wants with, or does it belong to the schmuck who spent two months of his salary on it?
Kevin: The woman. No, the man. It was a gift.
What should he do with the ring?
If he wants to get engaged again, he can use it again. It's his choice, his money.
What if she doesn't want to give it back?
You're going to have to take it to court. Why would you want to have the ring anyway?
For sentimental reasons, maybe?
Why? To show that you were engaged?
Joy: The man, because he bought it. He should pawn it and get the money back.
What if the woman really, really wanted it?
Women are stupid.
Um, OK. Well if they both want it should they fight?
Yes, if she's going to be stubborn. What are you going to keep the ring for? To wear it and say "Oh, that's the ring my ex-fiancée gave me?" What are you going to do with it? Nothing.
Jay: The lady should keep it.
For the memories. You gave it to somebody, regardless of what happened. You shouldn't take it back.
What if it cost the man a lot of money and he thinks he deserves it back?
Then you're a cheap bastard! You should not be upset that you spent so much money on someone you loved once. Just let her have the ring.
Manny: The woman. But if you're going to put your heart and soul into something that doesn't work, I think some guys will want it back. And if it cost a lot, maybe he should ask for it back. But if she wants it I think she should have it.
What should a woman say if her fiancé demands that she give the ring back?
No! Or just lie and say it won't come off.
Sarah: Depends on who breaks it off.
What if it's a mutual decision?
If it's mutual, the person who bought the ring. It's circumstantial—if he breaks if off she should keep it. If she does, then he should have it back.
So if he's an asshole she should keep it?
I don't know if it's about being an asshole, but if he goes back on that decision and she wants to keep it she should keep it. Though I don't know why you'd want to.
What should he or she do with it?
Get rid of it, sell it. Wouldn't it be weird if you proposed to someone with a ring and said "I used this with my ex-wife?"
Cory: That's a hard one. I feel like whoever it was given to should keep it. It's like a gift. If the engagement breaks off, you can't expect to take back everything that you gave.
What if it cost a lot of money?
That's tricky. I don't know.
If the receiver keeps it, what should they do with it?
It seems sleazy to sell it. If it was a very, very valuable ring it might be best to give it back to the person who bought it.
What should the giver do with it?
If you bought it you have every right to just sell it. Get the cash.
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