Who Killed JFK?

For a beloved icon, John F. Kennedy had a LOT of enemies. When his secretary made a list of suspects who might have been behind his death, it included “the KKK, Dixiecrats, [Teamsters boss Jimmy] Hoffa, [the] John Birch Society, Nixon, [South Vietnam President Ngo Dinh] Diem, Rightist, CIA in Cuban fiasco, Dictators [and] Communists.” Other options include ex-CIA operatives trying to force the US to go to war with Cuba (Don DeLillo’s favorite theory), and one guy with a gun. We decided to settle this question once and for all—by sending an intern out on the street to talk to strangers.

Patrick, visiting New York City for a court appearance (he won. Yay!): Probably Oswald. Was there somebody else behind it? Doesn’t really matter. I’m more concerned with what’s happening right now.

Maps, West Village: I have no idea.
Susan, West Villager: [Laughs without answering the question.]

OK. Are there any conspiracy theories you do believe in?
Maps: First you should define for people what you mean by conspiracy theory.
Susan: Like that we didn’t land on the moon?

I’m talking about conspiracy theories like, “Tupac is alive and living with Elvis in Vegas.”
Maps: That’s a good one. I wish that was true. I do believe in conspiracy theories. I do know that the US government has a history of doing horrible, heinous things and then altering the history books. The genocide of Native Americans is a really good example of a conspiracy theory. If the government can manipulate history to cover up genocides, then they’re capable of almost anything.

Do you believe that the US government was behind the 9/11 terror attacks?
Maps: Business as usual is what I would call that.

Carmen, Brooklyn: Harvey Lee Oswald [sic].

Who killed Marilyn Monroe?
I don’t know.

Who killed Tupac?
I’m not sure, but his political ties definitely played a part in his death.

Kit, West Village: I have absolutely no fucking clue.

Who do you think killed Tupac?
I have no idea. I’m not even sure he’s dead. Who is really?

Who killed Princess Diana?
I’m pretty sure that one was on the driver, cause he was stoned or whatever.

Lily, Tennessee: I think it was Oswald.

Do you believe in any conspiracy theories?
I believe in people getting together and plotting things. But in terms of people manipulating big things, I don’t think so.

Laura, West Village: Oh… his assassin killed him? I’ve never even thought about his death being a conspiracy.

Who killed Tupac?
I don’t even know.

Who killed Princess Diana?
That one’s more interesting. I don’t think it was a car accident.

Jackie, Brooklyn: This is the second time I’ve been interviewed by VICE Magazine. I don’t know who killed JFK.

Who do you think killed Tupac?
Didn’t they find that out recently?

Who do you think killed Princess Diana?
I have no idea. I’m starting to think that some of the bigger celebrities, like Marilyn Monroe, who is on my shirt, were killed by people in the industry.

Which industry? Like the CIA?
That’s the theory with Marilyn because she dated JFK. In her case it’s the CIA, but I’m starting to think that with other celebrities, like Lauren Hill, it’s the music industry. Lauryn Hill went underground because the industry tried to get her addicted to drugs. I believe that the music industry purposely tries to make musicians addicts so they can get more money from them, and then the musicians end up dying. Actually, I think Princess Di was killed by Parliament, because Prince Charles wanted her dead.

Can I take your photo?
Is this a DOS & DON'TS? I don’t want to be a DON'T.

Previously - What’s the Best Sandwich You’ve Ever Had?