Question of the Day

Who's the Sexiest Cartoon Character?

By VICE Staff

People want to fuck cartoon characters. We know this because when we are watching regular porn we will occasionally glance at an ad near the bottom of the screen and–BAM–we're jerking it to Bart Simpson tossing Marge's salad. It's fucked. There are whole sites devoted to this genre, frequented by people who have undoubtedly never had their penis touched by another human being. We went out and asked people which animated characters they wanted to hump. Some of you should be on some kind of list.

Jill: I would have to say definitely Jessica Rabbit.

What makes her so sexy?
That red hair, I think. And those full red lips.

Xavier: Jessica Rabbit is definitely the sexiest bunny.

Right, but there are lots of cartoons that aren’t bunnies.

She’s the sexiest cartoon.

Tanner: Does Lara Croft count?

She counts.
I’ll say Lara Croft, then.

It doesn’t bother you that her proportions are unrealistic?
They’re realistic. Besides, this whole thing is unrealistic. It’s not like we’re going to go on a date.

Madison: Johnny Bravo. He’s such a hunk.

Why?
He’s like the original guido.

Isn’t he blond, though?
Yeah. I guess they’ve changed over the years.

Ciara: Otto, from Rocket Power. [Ed. Note: Ew, really?]

Is that a boy or a girl?
He’s a boy.

What makes him so sexy?
He’s like a surfer/skater guy.

Brian: The Powder Puff girls.

Are they sexy?
I don’t know. There are three of them, so they’ve got that going for them.

I see.
Yeah. It’d be like a burrito. All kinds of shit in there.

Damn, dude. We’re pretty sure they’re supposed to be kids.

Kelsey: Johnny Bravo.

Why?
His hair. His muscles and his hair.

Previously—Would You Eat Your Family if Your Plane Crashed on an Island and They Were Already Dead?

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