Would You Eat a Mermaid?
Jul 6 2012
Mermaids don’t exist. The government even took time out of its busy schedule of doing whatever it does to tell us mermaids don’t exist. So no mermaids. But if there were mermaids, do you think they would be good to eat? They’re basically fish, right? Sure, intelligent fish with hands and faces and feelings, but still, it wouldn’t be cannibalism since they’re not technically humans, right? Or would that cross a line? We went out to the streets of New York—where there are no visible mermaids—to ask people if they’d chow down on Ariel.
David, art critic: Would I eat a mermaid? As sushi.
Just the fishy part or the human part as well?
Just the fishy part.
How do you think it would taste?
You know like nigiri sushi? Just like a meat slab.
Would you prepare it another way?
I think a mermaid salad would be nice.
What dressing would you pair it with?
Like a nice vinaigrette. You know, over mixed greens.
Janet, ESL teacher: Would I eat a mermaid? Oh, no!
I don't eat anything with a face! Definitely not something that's half-human.
You're not even curious? If someone offered you a mermaid burger, you'd say no?
Even the bottom fishy part that doesn’t have a face.
But it's the same thing! Definite no.
Cory, student: No. They're part human. It's almost cannibalism.
So you disagree with cannibalism?
Me too, but I think I'd still eat mermaid.
I'm not a big fish eater either actually, so I think I'm completely over eating a mermaid. Maybe if someone offered it to me I'd try it, just to say I've tried it, but after that, nah.
What's the most appetizing way to serve mermaid?
Probably any way a restaurant would serve you halibut or salmon. Like in a salad, or grilled or something.
What do you think it'd taste like?
Pat, retired: No.
Don't like fish.
Marcella, student: Yeah, as sashimi or sushi I think it might be good.
You wouldn't be freaked out because it's like cannibalism?
Well I wouldn't eat the top half, but the bottom half I think would be fine. Yeah, why not? Aren't they animals of the sea?
Anna, student: No.
Because it's a person.
Not even the bottom fishy part?
No one could convince you?
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