Would You Shoot Yourself to Be Famous?
Jun 19 2012
Welcome to Question of the Day. It gives interns something to do!
Last week Ray Dolin (pictured above) was shot in the arm while researching a book about the kindness of strangers. He was hitchhiking when it happened, and Ray reported to the police that he had been shot in a drive-by incident, sparking a goose chase after a lunatic, gun-wielding bad man who was out there shooting up hitchers for no good reason. That was until Ray decided to come clean and confess that he had shot himself in an attempt to drum up a decent story for what was (presumedly) going to be his otherwise (probably) very dull book.
Now Ray is left looking like a failed erection of a man who tried to become famous by shooting himself. But poor hole-in-arm Ray can't be the only one out there who would go to such lengths for fame and fortune. The public are idiots, too, right? We went and asked them just to be sure. Would you shoot yourself in the arm to be famous?
Tony, 33, theater company salesman: No.
What if it was just in the toe?
No. What sort of dickhead would shoot himself to be famous?
Well there was a guy fairly recently who shot himself in the arm to promote his new book.
To just do it to be famous, you have to either be mentally disabled or a real dick. There are a lot of different things you can do to get people’s attention, anyway.
Well, what would you do?
You could get someone to shoot you with a fake one. A rubber bullet. I want to rephrase my answer: I would, but not with a real gun.
Edward, 16 (left): No.
What about just in the finger?
Come on, why not?
I don’t want to get hurt. I value my foot. I value my body.
Eugh. Say you did shoot yourself and you were guaranteed by whoever to become famous—what level of fame would you do it for?
I would move out of here to LA or New York. I’d be a movie actor, but also I’d help other actors getting into movies. I could start up a workshop for actors. Also, I’d like to make my own low-budget indie movie.
George (left) and Kim, both 12.
In the foot.
Because I like playing video games with my arms.
How about you?
Kim: I would ride a motorbike.
No, you have to shoot yourself.
Yes, I would, in the leg.
Surely you wouldn’t be able to ride your motorbike?
Yes, I’d be a one-legged motorbike racer.
David, 25, unemployed: Yeah, in the foot.
Why the foot?
Because I could still walk around with a bit missing out of my toe.
Actually, even your little toe is very important for maintaining balance.
What kind of fame would you want?
One that gives you money.
Did you hear about the guy who shot himself in the arm to promote his new novel?
That sounds a bit stupid to me, no.
But you just said you’d do it!
Laura, 17, student (left) and Olivia, 18, lifeguard.
Laura: No. I’d never do that.
But what if it meant you were really famous and you could have all the money you want [new rule]?
Laura: Yes. Then I would do it.
What part of your body would you shoot?
Something small, like my finger.
You wouldn’t miss a finger?
Couldn’t I grow it back?
I’m not sure you can grow a finger back.
Dascha, 16: No.
It would be painful. I’d rather get famous in another way.
But what if no one cared because you had a horrible voice. Then would you put a bullet in your arm?
With a gun!? No.
How else?! What if it gave you a good career?
[contemplation] I would need a guarantee.
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