Reasons Why It's Super Easy to Get Laid on Tour

KISS, just a totally normal, representative sample of Rock 'N' Roll sex-havers.

Yesterday, the esteemed Noisey overlord Ben Shapiro posted a piece about why, despite the common cum-drenched perception of the rock  roll lifestyle, it's actually pretty hard to get laid while out on tour. His argument boiled down to, essentially, "Dudes in touring bands smell weird and act juvenile, plus I had a girlfriend most of the time I was on tour."

While it's true that I've never been in a band and therefore have never had a chance to take the ol' touring van to Fuck City, Vermont—even I know that the old adage is not just "drugs and rock 'n' roll." There is also a "sex" involved. So, without further adieu, here are all the reasons it's super easy to dunk your metaphorical corndog in the human batter of your choice while on the road with your band.

THERE'S A SHIT-TON OF BOOZE

Often, touring bands don't make too much money. It's a shit reality that we have to deal with. Still, when a band shows up to a venue, what they don't make in legal currency, they often make in the second-best paper known to humankind: drink tickets. Also, depending on what type of band you are, the audience is gonna get wasted at your show. If there's one thing science has taught us, it's that drunk people in a room tend to start making out.

Read the rest over at Noisey.