We hope none of you are parents. We don't say this to be mean, we're merely giving out some life advice. Judging by the comments we get from our most devoted readers on a daily basis, many of you have problems getting out of bed on time and making your court appointments. Not exactly daddy and mommy material.
We bring this up because our most famous DOs & DON’Ts caption writer, the Fat Jew, has a new web series that illustrates exactly what happens when a filthy degenerate decides reproduction is a good idea. It’s called SCUM DADZ, which is great because we love titles that don’t fuck around. We also love to laugh, and this show melts our cold hearts like no other.
Fun fact: babies are too dumb to understand that watching their father get a blowjob from a Jamaican nanny or do insane amounts of cocaine is bad. Apparently, all that bad behavior just washes over them like a bunch of happy fluffy clouds. Probably! This infant is in horrible danger at all times, but it will go on to lead a very healthy, productive life. He might even grow up to be attorney general of the United States. Wouldn’t that be delightful?
Our advice is to not think about it, relax, enjoy SCUM DADZ, and get drunk. Get pregnant! Do whatever you like! We're all just passengers on this crazy starship called Earth.