SHITTY MIRACLES

shittymiracle A farmer in China dug up a two-foot tall, 12-pound knotweed root that's shaped like a boy and can't decide what he should do with it. Way we see it, he's got two options: place it in a bowl of fresh milk under his pregnant mother's bed and feed it two drops of blood a day to cure her mysterious illness, or else start a laxative company--knotweed's known in Chinese medicine for its shit-extracting properties, and this particular root could be marketed to make every trip to the toilet seem like a blessing. In other holy crap news, last night in London Prancehall found an animal-made monument that will surely go down in the annals of Hackney past--a perfectly vertical log of dog shit. It’s Hackney’s very own Stonehenge. Stoolhenge, if you will. The local council should put a perspex box around it to protect it, just like they do with any grotesque Banksy creation.
2 years ago

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