Skiving Off

Photo by Jack Christie

You turn up at university and you can either embrace three years of academia, higher learning and bettering yourself as a human being (i.e. the whole reason you are meant to be there) or you can just spend every night drinking pots of cut-price piss and pretending that things like lecture theatres and tutorials don’t exist (i.e. the real reason you are there). If you are more into the second option then the wonderful music industry has handily prefabricated the perfect means of avoiding actually learning anything right from the get go.

Yep, it’s the freshers’ package tour bundle bonanza thing! Get a bunch of good bands, shove them all on a bus and prod them around university towns. It’s probably all part of creating the all-year-round festival that will no doubt one day consume live music forever but it’s such a neat little concept that we thought we’d have a go at it ourselves. Our one is called The Unitaur and if it is anywhere near as popular as last year you should start applying for tickets right now. Find out about that and the best of the rest over there.

VICE UNITAUR

Yep, last year was so much fun that we’ve decided to wheel our weird Elvis-headed Godzilla rip-off guy out and take him on the road. We are keeping schtum about the guests for now because they are so good that they would probably make your brain melt and fizz like the middle bit of one of those flying saucer penny sweets. Considering we had Crystal Castles, These New Puritans and The Teenagers last year, you should probably go and register right now if you want any chance in hell of making it in. Unitaur will be coming to a city near you in November, so keep an eye on unitaur.com for updates and more information.

All venues and info at unitaur.com

GONZO UK TOUR

Some guy from Australia or somewhere that really “digs” talking about new bands, sitting on a brown sofa and being more chipper than a van load of straight edge kids on their way to a Posi Numbers festival presents a handy slice of established acts and bands that might be established at some point in the future. That's if they don’t fuck it up like Nine Black Alps did. Remember them? Nope, didn’t think so. No one does. The Zipper used to loved those guys, so be careful, support acts, don’t get too close.

All info at mtv.co.uk/channel/mtv2

NME ROCK & ROLL RIOT TOUR

Someone should really do a Wikipedia entry to clear up the difference between all of these NME tours. They seem to roll them out quicker than you can physically get to them. Anyway, if you are after a rocking and rolling peeeeaaaaaarrrrrtttteeeeeeee and want to get down like it’s 1991 all over again then look no further. It’s Bobbi, Mani and the other ones shaking their slowly brittling bones with a host of surprise youthful supports that should make them feel even more ancient while they howl along about movin’ on up and comin’ back down or whatever.

All dates and stuff at nme.com

BEN SHERMAN BEST OF THE FESTIVALS TOUR

Turns out that the guys who make great clothes also do a pretty great package tour. Like their shirts, this one is simple, unembellished and does the job well. Four venues all stuffed to the gills with as many bands and DJs as they can cram into each. In fact, there are so many acts on this tour we can’t fit them all on this tiny little page.

Go to bensherman.com/bigbritishsound for the full line-up.

04/10/08

Bucks Student Union

09/10/08

Manchester Academy

18/10/08

The Barfly, Birmingham

25/10/08

229, London