News

Suraphon Chanphanitpornk

Goes Toe-to-Toe with Erik Lavoie

By ERIK LAVOIE, CHRISTI BRADNOX

Christi Bradnox: Hello, we’re interviewing New Yorkers about Erik Lavoie, this gentleman here. [introduces Erik]

Suraphon Chanphanitpornk: Hello.

Erik: Whazzup, whazzup, whazzup?

Where are you going?

Christi: You know who would answer the phone like that? The blonde guy from 90210. Steve, I think his name was. Erik is a genius. Don’t you think?

Where are you going?

Erik: Tenth and B.

Christi: Holy shit! What the fuck is that!? That is a fucking name, my friend, Jesus Christ. Chan...Phan.

Chanphanitpornk.

Christi: That thing is, like, fifteen letters. Are you crazy? What are you trying to do, kill us?

It is very long, yes.

Erik: Man oh man!

Yes.

Christi: What does your fucking ID look like? It must be nuts! What do you have—a little part that folds out with the rest of your name stuck on it, like a pop-up book?

It’s a problem. On my driver’s license my second name pushes my first name right off the edge. On my passport they abbreviated it to Chanphanit.

Christi: But they can’t do that. That’s a different name. That’s not you. He’s not Erik Lav. That means Erik “Wash.” He’s not Erik Wash––smell his balls. I’m kidding, Erik. Seriously, what do you do with a name like Chanpanporkpanpork? You can’t let them change your name!

I know. I tell them that, but they say there is no room. They just cut it. Lots of people do that. They get angry. [laughs] My first passport had the last name go down the side when it came to the edge, understand?

Christi: Yeah, like when you’re a kid and you make a Valentine’s Day card for an Indian kid. You’re like, “Will you be my Valentine, Rajiv…Mini…Bhat…Nager?” [motions like she’s writing down the edge of something]

My whole family have problem with this. Back home, my mother and my brothers, everybody have problems with this.
What kind of name is yours? [motions to Erik] French?

Erik: It’s French Canadian, yeah. I’m from Montreal.

Oh, I have a cousin there. It’s very beautiful there at this time of year.

Erik: Yeah...This is us. Right here.

OK.

Erik: Can you give me…$3.50, $5, $10…Can you give me $5, please?

Here you go.

ERIK LAVOIE AND CHRISTI BRADNOX
Recorded and transcribed via cell phone answering machine by Christi Bradnox.