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The Dragon's Hump - Part the Ninth

Veronica Hapgood concentrated fiercely and pooped out an egg. "What's this?" said Lavera. "Raise my child," said Veronica.

Lavera Bondswoman Jr. scrambled up the rigging, as nude and lithe as one of the Hairless Hill-Lions of the misty hillock called the Dragon’s Hump. Once safely inside the tangle of stage machinery, she wriggled into one of the sheaths of silver foil meant to be her costume at the climax of the dance of the Fortuitous Moulting. She paused for a moment to admire her reflection in another surface of silver foil. How could she resist? It was her first time being a woman after resembling a large baby duck for her entire life. She was happy to see that her new black hair was fashionably cropped, almost like a boy’s, and equally pleased with her dark, brooding complexion, long, slim face, and elfin ears. What long legs she had! Now properly arrayed in her foil miniskirt, she could try to come to the aid of Veronica Hapgood, her misguided friend who had tried to murder the King and was now lying on the floor with blood dribbling out of the corner of her beak.

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Alas, as she approached, some angry villagers with scary farming implements advanced toward her menacingly.

“Let her come hither as she desires,” the King commanded. “For I read upon her face the telltale signs of love.”

Lavera Bondswoman Jr. was bewildered. Was love what she felt? Was that it, after all?

If so, her love lay there dying.

“You… you’re a lady now,” Veronica said in a cracking whisper.

“You recognize me?” said Lavera.

“I’d… know you anywhere.”

Lavera’s tears sprinkled the ruffled down of her friend like dew.

Veronica Hapgood concentrated fiercely and pooped out an egg.

“What’s this?” said Lavera.

“Raise my child,” said Veronica.

“Yes,” said Lavera. She cupped her hands around the warm blue egg.

“And one more thing,” said Veronica Hapgood, her voice so low now that Lavera nearly had to kiss the ground to hear it.

“Anything,” she whispered back as lowly.

“Avenge me,” said Veronica Hapgood.

“I do swear it,” said Lavera Bondswoman Jr. But her friend never heard her oath, having died.

As Claron Pard reached the bloody sight around the Throne of Watching, he was filled with even more rage against authority than usual.

“Who is responsible for this?” he shouted to Lavera.

“The world!” she proclaimed, tears streaming down her beautiful, long, dark face.

“Then the world shall pay!” declared Claron Pard, and he was a man of his word.

When the fat sergeant-at-arms approached with his knotty club, the handsome brigand Claron Pard surprised everybody by dropping his dagger and raising his hands in the air. He was full of surprises!

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The sergeant-at-arms made a move to pick up the weapon, but Claron Pard kicked it across the room to win himself a little time—just enough, in fact, to stick his fingers in his mouth and give the famous whistle.

The crowd scattered as Claron Pard’s loyal steed Sad Face, the brigand’s horse of spectral white, with a gloomy countenance that belied his noble heart, came crashing through a large stained glass window on the western side of the Great Hall.

The people were just getting their bearings when there came another exciting crash, this one through a much smaller stained glass window. It was a brave little pony—a brave little pony indeed, with a silvery mane and a glossy coat almost purple in hue, displaying over its moist blue eyes the long, waving eyelashes, filled with glitter, which marked it as a female of the species. Oh, and it had a single, pearly horn in the middle of its head, that’s right, because this pony was a unicorn, a unicorn named Candy Apple, and everywhere she went she gave off a crisp scent of farm-fresh apples.

“Hop on, milady!” Claron Pard invited Lavera Bondswoman Jr. He had already sprung onto the back of his trusted companion.

“Looks like my ride’s here,” she responded gamely. What a remarkable young woman! It was easy to understand what Veronica Hapgood had seen in her. Of course, Veronica was a trained assassin filled with secrets, while Lavera had been but an innocent schoolgirl… until now! Tucking the blue egg into her cleavage, she was a swift sparkle as she mounted the brave little unicorn with creditable dexterity.

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“I thought you said you were bringing me a message,” King Samsor the Great challenged the handsome brigand.

“Ha! I think I just did!” jested Claron Pard. With that, the scroll bearing the Seal of the Vermillion Witch disappeared down the sleeve of his cloak.

“I will have that scroll!” demanded the King.

“You’ll have to catch me first!” replied the bandit. He dug his heels into Sad Face’s sides, but not too hard. They understood one another. As Sad Face charged past the King, Claron Pard reached down and snatched the crown from his head, a treasonous offence, but what cared Claron Pard for the petty laws of men?

He was still placing the crown on his head when Sad Face gave a tremendous leap, smashing through yet another gigantic stained glass window on his way out.

Candy Apple was only too happy to follow her boyfriend’s horse. With Lavera Bondswoman Jr. clinging desperately to her shining silver mane, the unicorn escaped through another small stained glass window, which rained down translucently in beautiful shards of otherworldly colors, making a total of four ruined stained glass windows for somebody to sweep up.

Previously – Part the Eighth

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