This Machine Makes Orgasms
Aug 27 2012
Women who suffer from anorgasmia are victims of the most terrible non-life-threatening condition imaginable: They are unable to achieve orgasm. Ever. Not even with a vibrator, a bottle of wine, and a DVD of The Notebook. Fortunately, Prague’s Alternative Science Research Group has been working to solve this problem for the past seven years and they might have come up with a way to thaw even the most frigid of loins.
Their device, the Multistim, looks complicated and vaguely threatening, but if you hook your vibrator up to it, it transforms into a super vibrator that has the potential to make women with anorgasmia quiver like Mexican jumping beans being held by an epileptic. We asked Tomas Suchan, one of the minds behind the Multistim, to explain how his invention works.
VICE: So, lets’s say I’m a lady who wants to use the Multistim to have some mind-melting orgasms. How do I operate it?
Tomas Suchan: Well, you can connect a few appendages to it, including the standard vibrator, and the device will create vibrations specifically designed for your body. Based on our calculations and experiments we determined the ideal vibrations that affect each person. So you can set the unit to, for example, a mode where you will bring a woman to the brink of an orgasm three times, turn off the stimulation, and then make her come five times in a row.
Whoa. I know different women like different sensations though. Can you customize the vibrations?
A person can create their own profile and record the progress of their past stimulations. Let’s say that you record five parts of the stimulation you like; based on that, the unit can generate a sixth one tailored to you.
What else can it do?
The unit supports Bluetooth. There is also a special client developed for computers, so yes, you can control the unit over the internet from 1,200 miles away and stimulate your partner. You can even take the unit outdoors. It has a battery life of about 40 hours. You can also charge it through a solar panel.
Holy shit. How much does it cost?
The unit is going to be sold for something like 1,000 euros. And from the profits we want to gain more funds for anorgasmia research.
More weirdness? Check these out:
Things You Learn Designing Porn Banners for a Living
I Went to a Raëlian Cult Protest for Titties
Stress Makes Me Horny
Superstitious People Are Dismembering Albinos in Tanzania
Voss Water Is Bullshit
Bad Cop Blotter: The Police Aren't So Brave When Someone Has a Weapon
It's a Godlis World: Early Photos of Punk Rock After Dark
VICE News: Water War: Dry in Detroit
Tim and Eric Tell Us About Their Greatest Fears
We Asked a War Correspondent About the Origins of ISIS