Tidbits

A Monthly Look At Things We Love - The Violence Issue




VICE just opened a new store in New York. The address is 255 Lafayette (across from X-Large and down from Supreme) and it’s got way more stuff in it than the other stores. Here are nine Tidbits we randomly grabbed from the shelves next to the cash.

1 ROSE PANTIES
Our friend Rose made these glow in the dark panties that say, are you ready?, “I don’t have AIDS … yet!” Can you fucking believe that. Please write us a letter after you try them out. We have to know what happens.

2 PINK LACE DRIVING GLOVES
Lace gloves are a bit too soft and driving gloves are a bit too hard but these are fucking perfect. Wear them to a $500 dinner and then keep them on when you go to kick the shit out of Marcia Sterner at the Cherry Tavern.

3 McDONALD”S COKE SPOON
Remember those coffee stirrers McDonald’s used to make? Those were perfect for bumps of coke. Whatever happened to those? Did McDonald’s figure it out and stop making them. That would be cool if someone made them again; out of silver and gold would be hot. WHAT THE … HELLO!

4 IWAO
The best manga comic a Tokyo street kid named Santa Inoue ever made is called Tokyo Tribe 2. The best dude in TT2 is black samurai named Iwao that looks exactly like Ice Cube. Inoue loves hip hop and Japanese war history and the resulting toys are fucked up.

5 DR. NO
It’s ironic that one of our more affordable dolls is also one of Bond’s more formidable villains. No it’s not.

6 KANKICHI RYOTSU
You know who this is? It is Ryotsu’s rarest figure. The infamous laughing police officer. Good luck getting it home though. As soon as you lift it off the shelf this huge boulder starts rolling at you from the other end of the store and all these nazis start screaming because ghosts are going through their chests.

7 GENERAL URSUS
Remember this cocksucker? Talk about a “damn dirty ape.” In a way you’re on his side because it’s true, humans are pure evil and they will lead to the end of ape civilization but fuck – you don’t have to be a dick about it.

8 THREE ZERO
When everyone is tripping over themselves trying to make dolls with the most thugged-out faces possible Jason Su comes along and makes a guy with a ghetto blaster for a head. He’s got DC shoes and a backpack and some other stuff but his fucking head is a ghetto blaster.

9 OTOMARI SET
Sporty kid’s underwear that fastens to knee-high tube socks makes boys so horny they feel a bit sick. The Otomari (Japanese for overnight) set is a bra and panties and garters and it comes in a bunch of different patterns. There’s Howdy Doody (pictured here), Batman /Superman /Flash, Matchbox Cars and Holly Hobby and each one comes in this handy carrying case that you can use for your make-up after.

To win your free subscription to VICE send tidbits to: VICE Magazine, 75 North Fourth Street, 3rd floor brooklyn, new york, 11211, usa

9 years ago More from this issue

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