Here we are on the red carpet with our fine-ass fucking French bombshell and our new weirdo homie Marilyn Manson! We scared all the Selena Gomez fans! We heard them say, “Manson’s so gross and creepy! Also, ewww who are those twins?” It was amazing!
This is us with Selena Gomez, who we really are infatuated with, but we think she was a little upset that our French bitch stunted on her!
Stephen Dorff is an amazing piece of shit! After chatting with him, we are now planning a world tour of whore-banging! Just watch 'Cold Creek Manor' or the Britney Spears “Everytime” video—he’s exactly like that in real life! Totally amazing!
At first we thought this was some super hot chick, but then we realized he’s a hunky actor named Jesse Metcalfe from that corny movie 'John Tucker Must Die'! He was really nice and down to earth!
David Blaine is becoming a really special friend to us, thanks to Harmony Korine! He’s got chicks all over the world convinced he’s the leader of the Illuminati and possibly even the devil himself! He’s blown our minds with his magic many times!
This the dude from that hit HBO show 'Girls.' His name is Alex Karpovsky, and we told him to tell that chick to put us in that show, fucking the chick with the accent!
Harmony Korine is our favorite person in the world! He hates white people and loves down South trap music! Right here he’s dancing to Gucci Mane!
Harmony, Gucci Mane, Ashley Benson, and Rachel Korine! Weird photo because Gucci never smiles! We think he was happy! He was smoking blunts and security was too scared to say anything to him! Amazing human right there!
This is Chris Hanley, one of the weirdest and most-eccentric people we’ve ever met! He’s the main 'Spring Breakers' producer! We love this dude!
Caressing our date Manon Marsault! Her body is fucking banging! She’s French, and you can barely understand anything she says!
Gucci’s manager and all-around dope-ass dude Coach K hangs with us, Harmony, and the girls.
The after-party had this cool photo booth! Here’s us, Franco, and Benzo turnt the fuck up!
Franco is such a sweet person! We’ve become great friends with him since filming the movie! Stay tuned for more from us three!
The after-party for the after-party was at our hotel room! All we can say is that IT WAS A-MAY-ZING!
This is a girl with our VICE cover pressed up against her amazing ass!
This dude was hella cool! His name is Nikhil, and he has a strong accent! He brought over Ariel Pink, and we all got super fucked up!
This is Niki the Unicorn! She’s fucking hot and hella rad!
Bitches love us! They all want our dicks! This is what happens every night of our lives.
This is an epic photo of us, Brandon Biebel, Harmony and Rachel Korine, and the legendary Chad Muska! Love this crew!