Miami is a weird city to drink in. Because most bars here are incredibly expensive, shitty tourist traps, or trendy as hell, It can be hard to know where to go. A bar might be cool for a few years, then one day its crowd completely disappears—on to the hippest, latest spot like junkies frantically trying to stay one step in front of FOMO. That formerly cool spot shutters, and another (probably more expensive and equally doomed) spot opens in its place. And the cycle repeats itself. That makes it all the more miraculous when a place lasts long enough to become a cultural staple.
As such, the Miami bar scene was dealt a few devastatingly sad blows these past few years, with the closing of Tobacco Road and the lightning quick yuppification of Wynwood. But it's also had a sort of explosion of new bars as more of the city is getting filled out with new development. Some of the new places still need to prove themselves, and some already have. All in all, however, there's plenty of fun-ass places to drink.
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Gramps, photo by Christina Arza
Gramps
It only took a few months for this pseudo-dive to quietly become the centerpiece of the Wynwood bar scene. While the cocktails are a little pricey, it sports some dope '80s-style-Miami cubic windows and a few different rooms and areas to get wasted in. The place is sort of going for that Hotline Miami 80's coke-den vibe, and it succeeds. Good music and DJs, and sometimes you might see a great live act here. Everyone who goes to Wynwood and gets exhausted by the other lame places ends up decompressing at Gramps. Also bonus points for the poster of Miami Blues, which just so happens to be the finest film ever made about Miami. Appropriately, Gramps also periodically hosts film nights. Churchill's Pub
This wonderfully smelly shithole in the heart of Little Haiti has long been a formative bar for locals. If you ask anyone from here, they're more than likely to have many memories of getting way too fucked up at Churchill's or of getting angrily moshed to the ground. Florida native Marilyn Manson played his first show here. Hell, someone shot a porno in the bathroom at Churchill's. The place hosts metal and punk shows frequently, as well as the venerable and lovingly named International Noise Conference. Be sure to check out Jazz/Open Mic night on Mondays to see some weird shit, and say to hi to Mr. C at the door. Lagniappe
It might seem a little pinky-raising bougie to go to a place where you pick a wine (or beer) and cheese pairing for your table and watch jazz. But it's chill. The wines can be pretty cheap and generally are delicious. The place somehow manages to still feel pretty casual and people generally talk to each other and are very friendly, which is abnormal for Miami bars. The outdoor lounge looks like a little makeshift party is going on in your parent's backyard. There's live music every night, but word to the wise: on Wednesday jazz nights it gets so crowded it's hard to walk inside.
It only took a few months for this pseudo-dive to quietly become the centerpiece of the Wynwood bar scene. While the cocktails are a little pricey, it sports some dope '80s-style-Miami cubic windows and a few different rooms and areas to get wasted in. The place is sort of going for that Hotline Miami 80's coke-den vibe, and it succeeds. Good music and DJs, and sometimes you might see a great live act here. Everyone who goes to Wynwood and gets exhausted by the other lame places ends up decompressing at Gramps. Also bonus points for the poster of Miami Blues, which just so happens to be the finest film ever made about Miami. Appropriately, Gramps also periodically hosts film nights. Churchill's Pub
This wonderfully smelly shithole in the heart of Little Haiti has long been a formative bar for locals. If you ask anyone from here, they're more than likely to have many memories of getting way too fucked up at Churchill's or of getting angrily moshed to the ground. Florida native Marilyn Manson played his first show here. Hell, someone shot a porno in the bathroom at Churchill's. The place hosts metal and punk shows frequently, as well as the venerable and lovingly named International Noise Conference. Be sure to check out Jazz/Open Mic night on Mondays to see some weird shit, and say to hi to Mr. C at the door. Lagniappe
It might seem a little pinky-raising bougie to go to a place where you pick a wine (or beer) and cheese pairing for your table and watch jazz. But it's chill. The wines can be pretty cheap and generally are delicious. The place somehow manages to still feel pretty casual and people generally talk to each other and are very friendly, which is abnormal for Miami bars. The outdoor lounge looks like a little makeshift party is going on in your parent's backyard. There's live music every night, but word to the wise: on Wednesday jazz nights it gets so crowded it's hard to walk inside.
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Seven Seas Karaoke
You know you've made it to Seven Seas once you see the the old school baby blue car and the gaggle of motorcycles out front. This legendary Cuban karaoke place sports walls filled with Florida Keys boating ephemera, a pool table, and songbooks longer than the Torah. It's a great mix of clientele, and you're just as likely to see a trio of 80-year-old Cuban men belting out some old Cuban jazz tune as you are to see a fuccboi from the nearby university crying while crooning out some Pearl Jam song. Only go on Karaoke nights: Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday. Blackbird Ordinary
Blackbird began as a chill place to hang out and grab a cocktail, perhaps even play a board game in one of the quiet booths. It's turned into the monstrous bar of choice for downtown yuppies and Brickell-ite's who are all trying to have sex with each other. The drinks are still good, but we would suggest going there mostly to see Miami bros and bro-ettes mating in their natural habitat, or at off-peak hours if you don't have the stomach for that kind of thing. Wet Lab
The most unreal sunset view in Miami and the cheapest drinks are all in one place. This might be a little bit of an intimidating visit for non-locals, as the bar is housed at the University of Miami marine science campus, and is frequented by students and professors of the school. Also, you have to wander through the bowels of the school, passing by parked boats and baskets of buoys to find it. But it's fucking awesome, and totally worth it. All the beers are craft, and generally run from $3.50 - $5, and it's not uncommon to spot stingrays and dolphins in the bay. Take the stairs down to the beach and drunkenly make sand-angels. The downside is it's only open Wednesday through Friday while school's in session. Also closes before midnight, typically, so it's a great pre-game option. Mac's Club Deuce
This 1926-built bar is a piece of goddamned history. It is the oldest bar on the beach, and one of the only places close to the sand where you can get cheap drink without hassle. Its owner, Mac Klein, is a tough 101-year-old Jewish veteran of World War II. He is a local legend, a centenarian hustler, the man who makes the rules. In his bar, walls are black, and have survived some shit: Miami Vice cast parties, being named one of "America's Greatest Bars" by Playboy, and multiple annoying Anthony Bourdain visits, who has rightfully called the place "a delightfully festive establishment and antidote to South Beach." The only source of light on many nights is the hot-pink glow of the naked neon ladies who decorate the place. When you walk in here, you cease to be the person that you were. Here, you're just someone who's drinking a cheap beer. And you're going to clink that beer next to someone who will likely wind up a temporary best friend. Cash only.
You know you've made it to Seven Seas once you see the the old school baby blue car and the gaggle of motorcycles out front. This legendary Cuban karaoke place sports walls filled with Florida Keys boating ephemera, a pool table, and songbooks longer than the Torah. It's a great mix of clientele, and you're just as likely to see a trio of 80-year-old Cuban men belting out some old Cuban jazz tune as you are to see a fuccboi from the nearby university crying while crooning out some Pearl Jam song. Only go on Karaoke nights: Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday. Blackbird Ordinary
Blackbird began as a chill place to hang out and grab a cocktail, perhaps even play a board game in one of the quiet booths. It's turned into the monstrous bar of choice for downtown yuppies and Brickell-ite's who are all trying to have sex with each other. The drinks are still good, but we would suggest going there mostly to see Miami bros and bro-ettes mating in their natural habitat, or at off-peak hours if you don't have the stomach for that kind of thing. Wet Lab
The most unreal sunset view in Miami and the cheapest drinks are all in one place. This might be a little bit of an intimidating visit for non-locals, as the bar is housed at the University of Miami marine science campus, and is frequented by students and professors of the school. Also, you have to wander through the bowels of the school, passing by parked boats and baskets of buoys to find it. But it's fucking awesome, and totally worth it. All the beers are craft, and generally run from $3.50 - $5, and it's not uncommon to spot stingrays and dolphins in the bay. Take the stairs down to the beach and drunkenly make sand-angels. The downside is it's only open Wednesday through Friday while school's in session. Also closes before midnight, typically, so it's a great pre-game option. Mac's Club Deuce
This 1926-built bar is a piece of goddamned history. It is the oldest bar on the beach, and one of the only places close to the sand where you can get cheap drink without hassle. Its owner, Mac Klein, is a tough 101-year-old Jewish veteran of World War II. He is a local legend, a centenarian hustler, the man who makes the rules. In his bar, walls are black, and have survived some shit: Miami Vice cast parties, being named one of "America's Greatest Bars" by Playboy, and multiple annoying Anthony Bourdain visits, who has rightfully called the place "a delightfully festive establishment and antidote to South Beach." The only source of light on many nights is the hot-pink glow of the naked neon ladies who decorate the place. When you walk in here, you cease to be the person that you were. Here, you're just someone who's drinking a cheap beer. And you're going to clink that beer next to someone who will likely wind up a temporary best friend. Cash only.
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Ball & Chain, photo by Christina Arza
Free Spirits
The beach's other major dive bar smells exactly like Churchill's. Always full of people looking for a cheap drink and a nice game of pool, this boozy hole sits right across from a few major nightclubs and hotels, who no doubt wish Free Spirits would go away. It's very satisfying to sit here and watch people line up at other clubs in their dresses and suits, have a laugh, and realize how hollow your life is. The Broken Shaker
The Broken Shaker isn't exactly a Miami secret. It's fun as hell, and the drinks are great. As a result, it's quite hoppin' most nights. This hyper-trendy hostel bar has made a name for itself with its fresh cocktails and tiki hut-inspired vibe. People come from all over to check out the vibes. There used to be ping pong tables and cornhole, but they've been replaced by a garden for the bar's freshly-grown ingredients. The cocktails are expensive and take time, but you can generally get a High Life much quicker if you're don't give a shit about mixology (you shouldn't). Pro-tip: The neighboring restaurant, 27, is owned by the same people and has an upstairs lounge that serves the same quality drinks with less of a crowd. Lou's Beer Garden
Much like North Miami Beach is the chiller, cheaper, less crowded version of South Beach, this bar is the much quieter pool lounge version of the Broken Shaker. It's somewhat hidden and cool as fuck if you just want to get a drink and a nice bite. The drinks are great, and you don't have to wait for them. And bonus: You get to sit around a sparkly blue pool. The Corner
This is Miami's ultimate post-game location. No matter where anyone goes throughout the night, they end up at this old-timey dive. It gets more crowded as the night goes on, with people staying until the 5 AM closing time. Frankly, the drinks aren't that great, but they always pack a punch, and that's what you're here for. It's the kind of place where the bartenders dress like they've just survived the Great Depression—all suspenders and waxed mustaches—but it's surprisingly tolerable despite that. We spotted Paul Giamatti here one time, right before one hobo threw a glass bottle at one of the dealer's across the street. Paul kept drinking, as though nothing happened. Tuesday's jazz night is killer.
The beach's other major dive bar smells exactly like Churchill's. Always full of people looking for a cheap drink and a nice game of pool, this boozy hole sits right across from a few major nightclubs and hotels, who no doubt wish Free Spirits would go away. It's very satisfying to sit here and watch people line up at other clubs in their dresses and suits, have a laugh, and realize how hollow your life is. The Broken Shaker
The Broken Shaker isn't exactly a Miami secret. It's fun as hell, and the drinks are great. As a result, it's quite hoppin' most nights. This hyper-trendy hostel bar has made a name for itself with its fresh cocktails and tiki hut-inspired vibe. People come from all over to check out the vibes. There used to be ping pong tables and cornhole, but they've been replaced by a garden for the bar's freshly-grown ingredients. The cocktails are expensive and take time, but you can generally get a High Life much quicker if you're don't give a shit about mixology (you shouldn't). Pro-tip: The neighboring restaurant, 27, is owned by the same people and has an upstairs lounge that serves the same quality drinks with less of a crowd. Lou's Beer Garden
Much like North Miami Beach is the chiller, cheaper, less crowded version of South Beach, this bar is the much quieter pool lounge version of the Broken Shaker. It's somewhat hidden and cool as fuck if you just want to get a drink and a nice bite. The drinks are great, and you don't have to wait for them. And bonus: You get to sit around a sparkly blue pool. The Corner
This is Miami's ultimate post-game location. No matter where anyone goes throughout the night, they end up at this old-timey dive. It gets more crowded as the night goes on, with people staying until the 5 AM closing time. Frankly, the drinks aren't that great, but they always pack a punch, and that's what you're here for. It's the kind of place where the bartenders dress like they've just survived the Great Depression—all suspenders and waxed mustaches—but it's surprisingly tolerable despite that. We spotted Paul Giamatti here one time, right before one hobo threw a glass bottle at one of the dealer's across the street. Paul kept drinking, as though nothing happened. Tuesday's jazz night is killer.
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The Broken Shaker, photo by Christina Arza
Keg South
This dusty hole-in-the-wall sits under a billboard on US1. That's not an exaggeration. You have to walk around the base of a billboard to enter this bar. But it's got everything you'd want from a true dive: Cheap pitchers, burgers that taste like they came off your dad's 4th of July grill, and fantastic smokey wings. This place has a little bit of a southern cracker vibe, but that doesn't ruin its charm. It's been open for more than 50 years, and there's a reason for that. Ball and Chain
This Calle Ocho jazz bar was built in Little Havana in the '30s, and is another historic Miami spot that still manages to be fun. It hit hard times a few years back, and reopened in 2014 with a quirky-ass drink menu. You'll find drinks mixed with tobacco (not as bad as it sounds), Cuban fruits (as good as it sounds), and pastelitos (probably the most Miami you can do). There is an outdoor bandshell shaped like a pineapple made for live music and blowing minds, and a gigantic mural of Celia Cruz. It gets a little intensely clubby at night on the weekends, and some might say it's played out and touristy, but you should definitely make the visit. They have a paella party on Sundays, where you listen to music and eat paella. There's live jazz most nights, and it probably hosts the best neon sign in Miami. King of Diamonds
If you're a hip-hop fan, you've probably heard of this purple stripper emporium. But if you want to feel like you're in a Miami rap video, you're going to have to drop some serious dime. Strippers come in all shapes and sizes here, but they all have one thing in common: They're incredibly aggressive and very, very expensive. So we would recommend going in, getting a drink and hiding out a bit like a coward whose greatest fear is naked women. The music alone will make it worth it. When two strippers sit on your lap, remember to just say no. Unless, of course, you can afford it. Also turn in your guns at the door. Tootsie's Cabaret
Now this is a strip club that really takes care of you. It's so accessible and relaxed it feels more like you're at a sports bar than at a debaucherous place that lets you gawk at women as much as you want (provided you have the singles). Also, check out the adorable windmill! Some builder really put a lot of effort into that! Tootsie's also has the best wings in Miami. Try the lemon-pepper, they're outta this world.
This dusty hole-in-the-wall sits under a billboard on US1. That's not an exaggeration. You have to walk around the base of a billboard to enter this bar. But it's got everything you'd want from a true dive: Cheap pitchers, burgers that taste like they came off your dad's 4th of July grill, and fantastic smokey wings. This place has a little bit of a southern cracker vibe, but that doesn't ruin its charm. It's been open for more than 50 years, and there's a reason for that. Ball and Chain
This Calle Ocho jazz bar was built in Little Havana in the '30s, and is another historic Miami spot that still manages to be fun. It hit hard times a few years back, and reopened in 2014 with a quirky-ass drink menu. You'll find drinks mixed with tobacco (not as bad as it sounds), Cuban fruits (as good as it sounds), and pastelitos (probably the most Miami you can do). There is an outdoor bandshell shaped like a pineapple made for live music and blowing minds, and a gigantic mural of Celia Cruz. It gets a little intensely clubby at night on the weekends, and some might say it's played out and touristy, but you should definitely make the visit. They have a paella party on Sundays, where you listen to music and eat paella. There's live jazz most nights, and it probably hosts the best neon sign in Miami. King of Diamonds
If you're a hip-hop fan, you've probably heard of this purple stripper emporium. But if you want to feel like you're in a Miami rap video, you're going to have to drop some serious dime. Strippers come in all shapes and sizes here, but they all have one thing in common: They're incredibly aggressive and very, very expensive. So we would recommend going in, getting a drink and hiding out a bit like a coward whose greatest fear is naked women. The music alone will make it worth it. When two strippers sit on your lap, remember to just say no. Unless, of course, you can afford it. Also turn in your guns at the door. Tootsie's Cabaret
Now this is a strip club that really takes care of you. It's so accessible and relaxed it feels more like you're at a sports bar than at a debaucherous place that lets you gawk at women as much as you want (provided you have the singles). Also, check out the adorable windmill! Some builder really put a lot of effort into that! Tootsie's also has the best wings in Miami. Try the lemon-pepper, they're outta this world.
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E11EVEN
This $40 million, three-story house of "burlesque" was built as someone's dream of bringing Vegas trash to Miami. It's an absurd place, with a rooftop bar that houses live music and a fancy Italian restaurant. While inside the strip-club—er "burlesque area"—you can expect to see women performing gymnastic feats and doing silly dances. It's worth visiting if only for the weirdness of it all. If you go with a group, it can be really fun. On special occasions they'll have a crazy famous host, like Diplo or Drake or Usher. If you're into that.One alternative to the trendier bars of Wynwood would be to try to various breweries in the area. They're all within walking distance of each other and each has at least one or two great homemade beers you can try in their lounge areas. Try the Wynwood Brewery if you want to sit down and play some boardgames with a pretty friendly crowd. J. Wakefield Brewery has an entire wall of Star Wars murals and the best tasting beers of the bunch. Concrete Beach Brewery has some nice architecture and some nice beers, but after three beer breweries you should probably be done drinking beer at that point. Purdy Lounge
Purdy was a Miami Beach standard before the Miami bar scene really exploded. It's dusky and sexy, yet really small and intimate. It has a reliably great Reggae night on Mondays for those that really want to groove, and Chocolate Sundays is one of the most fun hip-hop nights in Miami. Great place to go if you sort of want to dance but don't want the pressure of a club. May have lost some of its crowd to some of the newer places.
This $40 million, three-story house of "burlesque" was built as someone's dream of bringing Vegas trash to Miami. It's an absurd place, with a rooftop bar that houses live music and a fancy Italian restaurant. While inside the strip-club—er "burlesque area"—you can expect to see women performing gymnastic feats and doing silly dances. It's worth visiting if only for the weirdness of it all. If you go with a group, it can be really fun. On special occasions they'll have a crazy famous host, like Diplo or Drake or Usher. If you're into that.One alternative to the trendier bars of Wynwood would be to try to various breweries in the area. They're all within walking distance of each other and each has at least one or two great homemade beers you can try in their lounge areas. Try the Wynwood Brewery if you want to sit down and play some boardgames with a pretty friendly crowd. J. Wakefield Brewery has an entire wall of Star Wars murals and the best tasting beers of the bunch. Concrete Beach Brewery has some nice architecture and some nice beers, but after three beer breweries you should probably be done drinking beer at that point. Purdy Lounge
Purdy was a Miami Beach standard before the Miami bar scene really exploded. It's dusky and sexy, yet really small and intimate. It has a reliably great Reggae night on Mondays for those that really want to groove, and Chocolate Sundays is one of the most fun hip-hop nights in Miami. Great place to go if you sort of want to dance but don't want the pressure of a club. May have lost some of its crowd to some of the newer places.
Bodega, photo by Christina Arza
Bodega Taqueria and Tequila
Hey! A backroom that's behind a quaint taco shack that happens to be gigantic club bigger than the shack. How kitschy. How Eyes Wide Shut. While the facade and giant, artificial club line are annoying, this place is a party. And the tequila drinks are fucking tasty. There is an 'Oh-my-god how cool are we for knowing about this place?!' vibe to the people here that can be a touch annoying, but just accept it and drink your drink. Flannigan's
Flannigan's is a South Florida cracker seafood chain that just happens to be a great place to drink once you've given up on the night, and perhaps on life. You get a separate menu that consists solely of deals, and if you walk out of Flannies without getting a bunch of free shit along the way, you're doing it wrong. Cheap pitchers often come with free apps. There's a Flannigan's in every major area of Miami, so you should run into one soon enough. Once there, you'll notice it has that Florida Keys seafood tavern interior that feels quite charming while inebriated.
Hey! A backroom that's behind a quaint taco shack that happens to be gigantic club bigger than the shack. How kitschy. How Eyes Wide Shut. While the facade and giant, artificial club line are annoying, this place is a party. And the tequila drinks are fucking tasty. There is an 'Oh-my-god how cool are we for knowing about this place?!' vibe to the people here that can be a touch annoying, but just accept it and drink your drink. Flannigan's
Flannigan's is a South Florida cracker seafood chain that just happens to be a great place to drink once you've given up on the night, and perhaps on life. You get a separate menu that consists solely of deals, and if you walk out of Flannies without getting a bunch of free shit along the way, you're doing it wrong. Cheap pitchers often come with free apps. There's a Flannigan's in every major area of Miami, so you should run into one soon enough. Once there, you'll notice it has that Florida Keys seafood tavern interior that feels quite charming while inebriated.