We Hacked the Supreme Leader of Iran's Instagram

By Johnny Quicktoes

We were pretty puzzled when we heard last week that Grand Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, the Supreme Leader of Iran since 1989, started an Instagram account. What does a guy who spends his time ordering Muslims to kill Salman Rushdie and pursuing/denouncing a nuclear weapons program for Iran need with the same social media tool used by vag-flashing celebutantes, obnoxious red leather pants wearing rappers, and those people who think Serato DJing is a legitimate career. To get to the bottom of what the final word on Islamic Law in Iran could be using Instagram for, we decided to get our News of the World on and hack Ali Khamenei's private account. Here is what we dug up:

We figured it would take a lot of muscle to keep an iron clad grip over mouths of the opposition in Iran, but daaammnn. We didn't know you're swole like this, Supreme Leader. I bet even Mohammad didn't have pecks like that.  

If only you could prop up Syrian President Bashar al-Assad in the face of a rebel uprising, the way you've got that Leaning Tower of Pisa.

Who needs 72 virgins in the afterlife when you can dance to "Call Me Maybe" with your shirt off?

There better not be any swine on that plate....

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