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Rev. Piotr Dzedzej: I have a friend who left the clergy. When you decide to devote your whole life to Jesus together, you start to think of each other as brothers. We took our holy orders at the same time. It was a shock to me when he left, because we had known each other for such a long time and nobody saw it coming.Many people you interviewed for the book complain about the process of religious formation. What was your seminary like?
Nothing during my formation discouraged me from becoming a priest. The only thing that took me aback was the atmosphere of suspicion. We were all hoping we didn't get in anyone's bad books, and were afraid we'd get called out for something that we didn't even do, if that makes sense.
Well, it doesn't come right away. Let me put it this way: a seminary prepares you in the way studying to be a doctor or a teacher prepares you for being a doctor or a teacher. It doesn't automatically help you understand all the tasks and problems you might face in the future.Some of the former priests in the book told you about homosexual experiences in the seminary, and there are stories about heterosexual priests who couldn't deal with the temptations of the real world. Are love and sex the most common reasons that people resign?
No, these are individual cases—you can't make such generalizations. It's not like a priest is a dog on a leash, suddenly being let loose. There's no perfect way to prepare someone for the real world. And you hardly ever hear about the fact that priests give up a lot for their position—it's a form of martyrdom. Maybe that's something that should be mentioned more in seminaries. We need to be able to talk about that, and what it means, just like we need to talk more about the reasons that make people leave.Priests who leave are often completely excommunicated, like they never existed. Why does that happen?
There are no official guidelines on how to behave in that kind of situation. Bishops and priests are only human—one bishop will try to talk and help, understand the root of the problem. Another will suspend a priest who expresses doubts and tell him there's nothing to discuss.What happens to them once they get home?
That depends. People with common sense will understand that anyone is human and fallible. More shallow people, who think priests should be holier than God, won't accept someone's return. They may get a little too excited by the idea of someone falling from grace, too.