Zine Scene

THORN #6

Out of the zillions of Riot Grrrl zines that are currently keeping Kinko’s in business, SF-based Thorn stands out from the grainy pack, and not just because they won a coveted spot in Sassy’s zine-of-the-month column. Yeah, they’re pissed, and yeah, they’ve got some pissed poetry typed out on an old typewriter (“I was your cake/You ate me whole/Bake your own goddamn cake”), but they’ve also got interviews with the excellent queercore band Fagbash and Slim Moon, founder of Kill Rock Stars, the coolest label in the world. A Megan Kelso comic and an ode to Jennifer Trux also serve to cleanse the palate in between more serious rants and artsy collages. This is definitely one of the least kvetchy girl zines going. Kudos to Keroscene Kelly!

NANCY PANTS



WAFFLE #4

The Love & Hate Issue is full of, you guessed it, the stuff we all love and hate (love: Jesus Lizard; hate: Barney the Dinosaur—ooh, take that, Barney!). Those Waffle kids sure know how to get good interviews. In this issue they interview Darby Romeo (the editrix of Ben Is Dead and the infamous I Hate Brenda Newsletter), Peter Bagge, Lisa “Suckdog” Carver, Maseo of De La Soul, and, um, Vanity Smurf? There’s even a multiple-choice quiz called “Are You a Good Lover?” Ew, “lover.”

SKYE BONGO



HOLY TITCLAMPS #13

Let us now hail Larry-bob as one of the pioneering pioneers of zine-making and the king of all things homo-y. He’s been doing Holy Titclamps since ’89 and he also publishes Queer Zine Explosion, which is pretty much the gay version of Factsheet 5. My favorite things in this issue are the guide to selling out (be like the band Huggy Bear and refuse to talk to the press—seems to be working out for them!), the guide to unsafe sex, and the rant about why San Francisco sucks (too many dull homos, bad food). Don’t miss the section of letters from gay prisoners looking for pen pals—it is illuminating. And while I’m on the subject, if you’re a queer punk and you still haven’t checked out Matt Wobensmith’s zine, Outpunk, you’re a fag.

MARTY MCPANTS



PATHETIC LIFE #7

If you haven’t read Pathetic Life yet, I’ll give it to you in the author’s own words: “My name is Doug and I’m a fat slob. Among my hobbies are reading zines, riding trains to the end of the line and back, killing roaches in my room, and going to the movies alone. It’s a pathetic life, and this is my diary.” What Doug fails to mention in this self-deprecating intro is that his “pathetic life” is so vastly entertaining to read about, it almost trumps the fact that we’re supposed to feel sorry for the guy. Does he really eat cat food ’cause it’s cheaper than tuna fish? Does he really have a pet roach? You’ll have to read this zine to find out.

TAWNY NOGGLER



THRIFT SCORE #7

If you read zines, then you probably shop in thrift stores, and if you shop in thrift stores, then you should be reading Thrift Score, Al Hoff’s zine about thriftin’. In this issue Al focuses on denim, with the history of jeans BC (before Calvin) and AD (after Dean)... it even comes with a “genuine swatch of retro denim” stapled to the cover! One of the great things about Thrift Score is that every issue has a boatload of thrifting tidbits sent in by Al’s readers. This time around, Al asked readers to send in stories of their biggest thrifting regrets, and the results are what you’d expect, from an Eames chair that got away to a missed opportunity with a Vienna-sausage warmer.

HORTENSE KUWAKINI




DISHWASHER #13

Dishwasher Pete is kind of like Jesus. He is a man on a mission, traveling the land, but instead of preaching gospel to the masses, he’s washing their dirty dishes. It’s a thankless job, but someone’s gotta do it. In this issue, Pete tackles Portland’s annual Oktoberfest, with all of its unwashed beer steins, sauerkraut vats, and greasy bratwurst pans. Since washing dishes is Pete’s idea of heaven, he doesn’t mind the backbreaking work and often finds time to steal away from the sink to explore his surroundings... soft German pretzel under the stars, anyone?

JOBIE TIXIER

BEN IS DEAD #23 I’ll give you one guess as to who graces the cover of Ben Is Dead’s “Sassy Issue” and no, it’s not Blossom... it’s Chelsea Clinton! Inside this issue (along with a super-in-depth examination of all things Chelsea) you’ll find lots of features that will be familiar to you if you read Sassy, including a harrowing “It Happened to Me” by Perry Farrell’s girlfriend, Casey Niccoli, and the best “Ones to Watch” ever, featuring Shudder to Think, that dog., and Evan Dando. My favorite thing in this issue is the list of “101 Sassiest Things of the Moment” (Fluevogs, eating boogers, cinnamon gum, and butter-rum Life Savers). ZELDA DEFRANK

MURDER CAN BE FUN #15 This issue came out last year, in 1993, but since I’m waiting so anxiously for a new issue, I just sat down and read it again. And it still rules the second time around! MCBF is one of the best-researched zines ever, and you can always be sure that it’s fact-checked and proofread and nice and clean and smart. That’s comforting to know when we’re so often awash in a sea of whiny perzines and lame compilations of interviews with hardcore bands. But MCBF, now this is really what zines should be all about—one crazy guy working out his fucked-up obsessions. In John Marr’s case, it’s murder, mayhem, crime, and weirdness. This issue features a bunch of stories about gnarly shit perpetrated by Mormons (let’s hope those fuckers stay on the fringes of society). There’s also a great list of famous kidnapping cases and an AMAZING article about mailmen who’ve gone batshit and killed a bunch of so-called innocent bystanders and coworkers. We love you more than Johnny Marr, John Marr. Now put out #16! SEÑOR POLLO ASADO

2600: THE HACKER QUARTERLY, Vol. 11, #2

Ever wanted to “phreak” a phone line, fuck with an ATM machine, or bypass a BBS admin? To be honest, I’m not exactly sure what a BBS is, but this zine makes it sound like something you’d wanna hack into. If you’re like me and the significance of a phone line with 2200Hz means nothing to you, you’ll still enjoy this zine, and maybe you’ll even be inspired to pull a hack of your own. In this issue, there is some reporting on the first annual global hacker event, which will take place in New York City this year, instructions on how to hack Prodigy (the behemoth online subscription-based service) and a “How to Hack the Small Stuff” article for newbies like me who just wanna get two Cokes for the price of one out of a vending machine.

TAD CORKE


FORCED EXPOSURE #18

The Odd Couple of zine publishing (“one’s a soul-patched jazzbo in a beret, the other infrequently longs for his hardcore salad days”), Byron Coley and Jimmy Johnson return, and all other publications with Kiwi-pop/Flying Nun/Xpressway-fever are embarrassed out of the room. Chris Knox (Tall Dwarfs, Toy Love) is the cover star by way of a self-portrait and participation in a 31-page Q&A that—including incredible photographs, 169 footnotes, and what must be a complete discography—falls somewhere between “magazine profile” and a contract-nabbing proposal for an epic Chris Knox biography. Just in case you get tired of New Zealand, there’s a Boyd Rice interview, an essay by Richard Meltzer, a Charles Gocher Jr. (Sun City Girls) rant, and 63 pages of reviews waiting to inspire and infuriate.

ANDREW EARLES




GENETIC DISORDER #14

This San Diego zine, published and edited by “Larry,” provides every nugget of information anyone would ever want to know about the “Satanic Panic” of the 1980s, keeping it San Diego-centric with a guide to the city’s most historically satanic spots. Lots of heavy-metal tie-ins and anchored by a meticulously researched look at a year of satanic occurrences by date—not a day is skipped.

ANDREW EARLES




BANANAFISH #9

The publication that makes Forced Exposure look like Woman’s Day, Bananafish keeps getting bigger and weirder while entertaining the same 20 people with each issue, and I must honestly state for the record that when I listen to a Harry Pussy (featured within) record, I feel as if there can’t be more than 19 people on earth who’ve done the same thing within a year. The writing is reliably entertaining if not brilliant, which helps in the case of bands/artists I’ll never hear on my own accord, excepting Smog/Bill Callahan.

ANDREW EARLES




FEMINIST BASEBALL #13

Jeff Smith’s Feminist Baseball looks like a gazillion other zines out there and covers a fair amount of stuff that other editors also typically go bonkers over, yet success can be found in spades once “every-guy” Smith’s hilarious writing and acute observations begin popping up with extreme frequency. In this issue: (surprise!) the Wedding Present, Steel Pole Bathtub’s amazing Japan tour diary, part 2 of a Sun Ra examination, and a consistently riotous review section for the final three-quarters of the issue.

ANDREW EARLES



MOTORBOOTY #7

Motorbooty returns with another monster issue with no page numbers (thicker than Cat Fancy, thinner than Vanity Fair) and their signature approach to brutally caustic cultural criticism—much more lighthearted than the suffocating and predictable negativity flowing from Answer Me! and much more irreverent and clued-in than anything else on the racks claiming “humor magazine” status. Opening up with a fake table of contents worthy of a spit take or two (“Whatever Happened to Sub Pop?”), the magazine strikes a nice balance between serious (profile of the Last Poets), amusing (a piece on “Rock Lit”… musicians writing fiction), and purposely pathetic (a sidebar of Henry Rollins’s real-life quotes).

ANDREW EARLES