READY YOUR UGLY TINFOIL BONNETS, CRAZIES

HAARP caused Haiti's earthquake, killed Kennedy, and convinced the Supreme Court to make GW Bush President.

By JAMES TENAFLY

HAARP (High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program), which consists mostly of a massive array of instruments in Alaska, has long been at the center of conspiracies. It looks and sounds too weird not to be part of some sinister plot. Thing is, nobody’s ever been able to get a conspiracy to stick. That the latest tinfoil tirade has to do with Haiti’s earthquake is not expected to change this even an iota.

Crazies across the country are now claiming that HAARP was used to cause the recent earthquake in Haiti! This is a deplorable theory in tremendously bad taste, but just imagine what it will do for HAARP’s evil posterity. Despite its frequent involvement in super-secret world domination plans—to generate extreme weather around the Earth and subdue the world’s people, say—the idea that a big cluster of Alaskan transmitters caused tectonic shifts in the Caribbean? Interesting almost! The reasoning? All HAARP’s records were deleted on the day of the quake. Spookyville!

By JAMES TENAFLY 2 years ago

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