Dicks on Vice

How to Protect Your Package from Lorena Bobbitts

Since April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, it is a perfect time to talk about one form of sexual assault that gets ignored by bra-burning feminists: woman-on-wiener violence. I’m not one of those self-hating girls who thinks men get the short end of the stick, but you people with penises need to learn how to guard your groins. Full story

Dear Children's Place, I'm Sorry

I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize to The Children's Place for designing one of their graphics a few seasons before they released it to the world. I'm really sorry, y'all. If I'd known that you were going to be using the same exact concept, I totally would have come u… Full story

Your Huge Cock Is Overrated

Zane pulled me on to the bed, and we started making out. Seconds later, he was fingering me and panting in my ear. I began fumbling for his belt, and once I’d managed to pull off his pants and undies I recoiled, dumbstruck. Full story

Jeff Wood Got Shot in the Head and Became Shat

Shat was apparently a relatively normal dude until he was shot in the head at a party in Hollywood. He managed to survive a bullet to the brain, but post shooting, his brain (which still contains part of the bullet) was completely concerned with sex. Full story

Tubesteak

Are You a Slut?

If you're taking this quiz, then you probably already know the answer. Still, why not give your suspicions some validity? Full story

Three Gothic Tales from Austin, Texas

Amie and Clancy Martin went to Austin recently. While there, they were almost kicked out of a hipster hotel, ate delicious sushi, and accompanied a friend to get a tattoo. Here are three reviews from their trip, one from each of their adventures. Full story

Tubesteak

How to Suck an Uncut Cock

There comes a moment in every American cocksucker’s (and I use that term as an honorific) life when he/she pulls down a pair of trousers and is met not with a well-shorn sailor, but a hooded monk. Yes, I'm talking about the rare occasion (in America and Israel, at least) when you… Full story

VICE Meets

Sue Johanson - Teaser

Sue Johanson from Canada's 'Sunday Night Sex Show' sat down with our very own Kara Crabb for a long chat about menopause, how to put on a condom with your mouth, butt sex, vaginal sex, dicks, and balls. Here's the teaser. Full story

Talkin' 'Bout the Boards

Jerking Off with Shallow Losers

Dear VICE lurker, you read our site and leave comments that are almost always cruel and not the kind of thing you would say to someone's face. I respond with drawings I would say to your face if you could "say a drawing." Full story

Pornification

Callie

Callie watched porn for the first time after her parents accidentally recorded over her beloved 'Alice in Wonderland' VHS tape. Now she runs a porn magazine, and some of the dicks she sees make her be like whaaaaat. Full story