Hot Dog and the Lady Bun
Meet Our Hot Dog
An interview with Kurt Braunohler, our advice columnist who turned crotch climatology into almost a real job.
Hot Dog and the Lady Bun - Long-Distance Lovers
“Why let distance tear us apart when our crippling insecurities can take care of that?”
Hot Dog and the Lady Bun - Two for One
Make sure she gets the hint and leaves her toothbrush where it belongs: at home.
Our Lady of the Buns
Meet the bready half of our relationship advice duo, who spends her days writing and searching for videos of kids falling off slides on YouTube.
Hot Dog and the Lady Bun - Family Vacation
Meeting someone’s family is like inspecting their butthole—kind of awkward, but also the fastest way to know where their shit comes from.
Hot Dog and the Lady Bun - Boinking and Bunking
In love with your roommate? Watching her while she sleeps is a nice, non-creepy way to say, “Hey, I care about you.”
Hot Dog and the Lady Bun - Stay Together Forever
Just like a real marathon, you need to rub some Vaseline on your nipples and be prepared to diarrhea all over the finish line.
Hot Dog and the Lady Bun - Age Differences
“You really remind me of my mom. Which is not creepy! I breast-fed until I was five."
Hot Dog and the Lady Bun - Wandering Profile
Let her know that she can’t just play with you. Drop a bone at her feet and yell, “I’m not your dog!” then piss on vagina to mark your territory.
Hot Dog and the Lady Bun - Unforgettable
You need a brand for yourself that people will remember! Try giving yourself a tagline like, “Brian Simpson: Blastin’ Quads and Blowin’ Wads.”
Hot Dog and the Lady Bun - Parlez-Vous Romance?
Want to attract a foreigner on the street? Ask them for directions on a map of Florida. It might be confusing, but it’ll let them know you’re easily lost and like things shaped like a dick.
Hot Dog and the Lady Bun - Coy Attraction
Look yourself in the mirror and say, “God made flirts and flirts don’t squirt!” then slap yourself across the face.