Johnny Depp on Vice
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Steven Seagal Is the Lamest Guy Ever
About a year ago I wrote a thing about how Johnny Depp just might be the lamest guy on Earth. For some reason, a lot of people remember that post, and it's frequently brought up to me by fucking geniuses who say things like "Uhhhh, so you think Johnny Depp is the lamest guy on Earth? What about Kim Jong-un? What about the Dark Knight shooter?" Full story
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Meeting Johnny Depp's Fans
We met them outside the London premiere of Dark Shadows and asked them about rape and stuff. Full story
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Is Johnny Depp the Lamest Guy on Earth?
Of course he is. Fucking look at him. I figured this was a total no-brainer, but nobody ever seems to believe me. Full story
The Wizard of the Saddle Rides Again
The Dark Specter of History in Memphis 
Hung Like a Gastropod
The Rigors of a Snail-Genital Illustrator 
Austerity's Drug of Choice
Sisa Is Nasty Shit 
This Is What Winning Looks Like
Chaos and Corruption in Afghanistan 
The Fat Farms of Mauritania
Pack on Those Pounds, Ladies 
Jerks Are Exploiting Cambodia's Orphans
Get It Together, People 
