Republican on Vice

I Partied with Some Young Republicans at CPAC

I'd heard rumors that there was an exclusive night club at the top floor of the Gaylord. In my mind, I imagined the scene there as some kind of debauched bacchanal with dudes in Brooks Brothers suits making out and femi-cons snorting morning-after pills. Full story

Hey Black Dudes, Why the Hell Are You at CPAC?

It's kind of hard to imagine why any black person would be at CPAC. But surprisingly, there are more than a handful of brown ladies and gents at the conservative conference. I wandered around the bowels of the Gaylord Convention Center and spoke to some of them. Full story

The Lovely Ladies of CPAC

There is a lot of stuff to do at CPAC beyond listening to conservative politicos bloviate about taxes and the gays. My favorite thing has been to just sit back and admire all of the nice-looking ladies. Here are some of most adorable femi-cons I've met at the convention. Full story

Dogmageddon

The Longest Horoscope Ever

The Bible has been able to spoil so much of human history because it is just is so fucking vague. Want to sleep with your little cousin? Surely there's something in there that'd give you the thumbs up. Full story

Ten Assholes Up for Re-Election in 2012

Lately, everybody has been focusing on the assholes at the top of the ticket, but there are a slew of Republicans and Democrats up for re-election this Novemeber who personify what it means to be a human anal cavity. Full story

I Watched Michele Bachmann Talk About Spinach on the Last Day of the RNC

I headed to the cigar tent, like a good Republican, to unwind after having my eyes and ears fed with apocalyptic warnings about the dangers of anarchist communists for the past three days at the RNC. It was a great convention. Full story

Question of the Day

Question of the Day - Who Would Win in a Fist Fight, Obama or Romney?

We asked some dweebs at a Rock the Vote event that was taking place during the Republican National Convention. Not surpassingly, the crowd at the Rock the Vote event favored the lanky liberal with the long arms. Full story

My Rap Tumblr Got Me Kicked Out of an RNC Event

They told me that “..the background checks are just a precaution.” A precaution from what, nerdy white music journalists from Chicago? Full story

Here’s Who Romney Should Pick for VP

The America Mitt Romney sings songs about looks like Romney/Petraeus ’12. It’s that simple. Boring white guys who look like the uptight dean in a college party flick will never go out of style. Full story

The Recent Unpleasantness

Mitt's Box Office Problem

For starters, there's "Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days." It takes place in a boarding school called Cram Brook. At one point, the villain—the wealthy son of the governor of a large, hand-shaped state—pins down a gay classmate and performs what is known as a Cleveland Stea... Full story