assholes on Vice

Can Ashley Judd Save America?

Mitch McConnell, the Senate Majority Leader and one of the most loathsome politicians in the US, is up for reelection next year, and his most serious challenger is, apparently, Ashley Judd. Can she save the country from his obstructionism? Spoiler alert: No. Full story

The 12-Step Program for Lance Armstrong's Image

After 15 years of denial, obfuscation, and single-handedly creating the worst fashion trend of the 21st century, Lance Armstrong is finally ready to admit to the world—or Oprah, same difference—that he indulged in performance-enhancing drugs during his time as a professional bicy… Full story

I Was David Petraeus's Bitch in the 90s and I Hated Every Second of It

Back in 1996, I was a starry-eyed West Point lieutenant in the storied 82nd Airborne Division. I had just graduated from Ranger School and the 2nd Battalion of the 504th Parachute Infantry Regiment was my new home—my first assignment. I loved the Army back then. Then David "Mr. B… Full story

Who Is Zachary German?

'Shitty Youth' is a new documentary by Adam Humphreys about Zachary German. Zachary is a young author whose novel 'Eat When You Feel Sad' was published when he was 21, and who, as a person, is known to be, well, socially bizarre. Full story

Athletes Raping Everybody Out Here

The rapes are not caused by closeted gay men, but the hyper-masculine vibe in the sports world. A coming-out party in sports would likely reduce the amount of sexually repressed athletes who feel the need to hurt women to show off their manhood. Maybe start with a national campai… Full story

You're All Happy Assholes (Statistically Speaking)

And you make me want to off myself. Full story

The Mercy Rule

A Confederacy of Assholes

Getting outraged about Bobby Petrino is easy, and kind of fun. Full story

I Was Tested for Demonic Possession

Demonic possessions are a lot like high blood pressure or AIDS—you don't know your status until you get tested. Full story

Question of the Day

Who’s the Coolest?

The coolest person is Shaft. And none of the assholes we asked got it right. Full story

Really? Newt Gingrich?

Finding Newt at the head of the presidential pack is like turning on "Super Friends" and finding Aquaman in charge. Only in addition to speaking conversational Fish, Aquaman is also a dick. Full story