The club, about the size of a backyard swimming pool, was packed wall-to-wall with 60-year-olds twitching awkwardly to obnoxious techno music. It smelled like department store perfume and old clothes.
Everyone lies and many of the men are desperate creeps, but for single women it's an easy way to go on expensive dates without worrying about commitment.
"We literally crack up writing it."
Sure, Nick from Shortland Street isn't going to Mars, but look on the bright side: Auckland is officially monkey-free.
Did my obsession with the tastes of my online suitors hurt my chances of finding love?
I'd never been on a date with a woman before, I hate people, and I hate talking to people—what could possibly go wrong?
We're not asking for Jane Austen; we just want to be wooed, and we want you to be cool about it for once.
We asked eight people who work in the funeral and death industries about how their jobs affect their love lives.
I went to a rally in West Hollywood for single people and felt more lonely than empowered.
Long story short, I made $5,000 after he got engaged to a woman who had a sex swing in her condo. So it worked out for everyone.
I got tons of food from guys online by posing as a girl—but what could I get IRL as a man?
Men keep trying to get me to dominate them—financially, physically, and emotionally. The only problem is, I don't even know if I actually enjoy it.
It also helps them figure out who is doing what chores every day.
I learned what "racial play" is and had a rather shitty experience with a "straight" guy who was into having sex with men.
Ending a long-term relationship is just like being born—there's a lot of crying and pain, and you don't know where you are.
I tried my luck with the dating app Luxy. Billed as a kind of "Tinder minus the poor people," it offers to "income verify" its members to ensure that only the highest caliber of young ballers society has to offer are able to bang each other.
I had to go through a bunch of emotions before I could finally end up at my current state of being not at all worried about my perpetual singleness. Those emotions look strangely like the traditional stages of grief.
Armed only with a 3G phone and an utter lack of guilt, I went on a Grindr bender with the goal of hustling unsuspecting strangers for gifts.
Looking at the numbers, New Zealand's "man drought" isn't a concern, it's a statistical reality.
Scott Valdez, 30, the CEO of VirtualDatingAssistants.com, charges anywhere from $380 to $1,320 a month for this service, depending on which package and how many "guaranteed dates" his clients buy.
The silent speed-dating event "Shhh" supposedly creates "a deeper, instantaneous connection" between lonely people looking for love.
For the past three months, Dan Perino's "Looking For a Girlfriend" flyers have been plastered all over New York City.
I talked with the site's founder, Carla Valentine, about the difficulties of dating when you're around corpses all day and why morticians might make great boyfriends.
Dating, being a student, and having strong political views. Each of these can be annoying enough on their own. We figured we'd combine all three into a self-conscious cocktail of awkward.