picking games
What I Want from the NFL in 2013
First of all, I want football to continue to happen and not cease to exist because the world has been swept by disease/war/starvation/robots and we no longer care about frivolous things like what large men do with an oddly shaped ball. Then I want Tim...
The Ennui of Raiders-Chiefs
"Will we remember this game any more or less than another when we are taking stock of our lives in our twilight years? Or is true meaning found in pursuits distant from the field: raising children, loving a wife, helping our neighbors in times of need...
J! E! T! S! Mess Mess Mess!
I love it when Tim Tebow's teammates tell the media that he's terrible. I love it when Rex Ryan's wife makes foot fetish videos. I love the dysfunction and the abject failure and Mark Sanchez's terrible love life. Go Jets!
Keep It Simple, Stupid Football Guys
In our weekly NFL picks column, we predict the outcome of the games, as well as the presidential election, and Tim Tebow's political career. We also discover a song about the Tennessee Titans and talk about the evolution, or devolution, of NFL offenses.
The Children Are Our Future… Quarterbacks
Are we going to give preschoolers with promising hand-eye coordination specially-designed steroids so that one day they can earn millions while trying to decapitate each other for our entertainment? Will we grow quarterbacks in vats and assign them...
There Aren’t Any Good NFL Teams This Year
“How about parity in the NFL?” a man says to another man as they sit on a park bench and watch the traffic in the distance. “Yes, parity,” the second man says. How can he put the love he feels for his friend into words? He can't. So he talks instead...
