I'd never been happier to relieve myself in a jailhouse bullpen full of dirty men. I pissed for about five minutes and felt great. Then I finished and looked around like, "Fuck worrying about going to hell... I'm already in hell."
When was the last time you pissed yourself? Oh, when you were eight? Get real, friend; it was last weekend and we all know about it. Now that you're all ashamed, here are some stories about other people who pissed themselves to cheer you up.
We're in a recession for crying out loud. Times are hard and everybody has to have a hustle, even if that hustle involves urine-soaked dirty drawers. I won't hate if you do it, just don't put a return address on your pee and panties package.