wtf on Vice

We Spoke to the Guy Who Wrote the Real Screenplay for 'Argo'

Contrary to how Affleck's film portrays it, the script for 'Argo' wasn't just some jokey, throwaway nonsense a hack writer shat out. It was the opening salvo for a dream that would change the world written by Barry Ira Geller. Full story

Boyle's Brains

New Ways to Have Sex

Let half a stick of butter melt in your mouth. This can take a long time. Try to sit still. It will feel less rewarding if you move even slightly. When the butter feels mostly melted, push your tongue against the harder parts. Make them melt against your cheek. Think about how yo… Full story

Things I Have Fished Out of People's Butts

Bedposts, doorknobs, mayonnaise jars, candles, a small pistol, a grocery and newspaper combo, a 12-inch long and 8-inch wide salami, tennis balls, an aluminum tube, axe handles, soldering irons, and a frozen pig's tail to name a few. Full story

The Woman Who Trains Dogs to Have Sex with Humans

Meet Anna, a mature Ukrainian prostitute who doesn't seem at all upset about her job. Full story

Venice Beach Is a Paradise

If Los Angeles is the place where dreams go to die, Venice Beach seems to be the neighborhood where the nightmares of old curmudgeons come to life. Terrify the life out of your parents by sending them John Kilar's photos and telling them they're your holiday snaps. Full story

Tracing Kody Maxson, the Online Blackmailer Alleged to Have Tormented Amanda Todd

In the days that have passed since my initial report about Amanda Todd’s suicide, the story has become even more convoluted and concerning. In an effort to clear some of this up, I decided to thoroughly vet Anonymous’s background research on Kody Maxson. While no one can definiti… Full story

What I Found at Work in June, July, and August

For the last little while, our pal Cynthia has been photographing the weirdest shit she's found at her job sorting donations at a charity shop in Massachusetts. Unfortunately, Cynthia is moving to Texas soon, so this will be the last installment of "What I Found at Work." Full story

A Cringeworthy Letter from an Idiot Who Wants to Save Africa

When you get a letter from a Western kid in Africa who writes things like, "Open your heart to the world and it will let you into its soul," and "I am the light when you are afraid of the dark," and "I am the motherfucking man," you just have to publish it. Full story

"Jeff" (Andrew II): A Dialogue of Texts in the Second Year of Drugs and Kindness

This is the second installment of Tao Lin and Giancarlo DiTrapano's texting history, which began last year. It's been hailed as "total shit" and "the best internet writing of 2011." Full story

I Don’t Know Who My Father Is, but I Have Dry Earwax

Through the magic of earwax, I finally have a clue as to who my real dad is. Full story