THE SADDEST PLACE ON EARTH (IN AMERICA)

By ALEX DUNBAR

Between the Imperial Valley’s failure as a Hollywood resort draw and the backlog of Mexican sewage and farm runoff still being deposited on the shores of the Salton Sea, we think it’s safe to say that it’s very likely the environs in this vicinity may not exactly be the most fortunate stretch of land in the country. Possibly.

Now the same geophysicists who’ve been holding “the Big One” out in front of our salivating mouths for the past however many decades are saying that Imperial Valley is already leading the state into its eventual (fingers crossed) grave. Nice one, Poseidon.

To get a complete picture of the ever-imminent disaster that will rid us of LA for good, scientists have been required to plumb the depths of the Salton Sea, conveniently located at the southernmost end of the San Andreas fault. Traditional techniques long failed to the find the underwater fault lines splintering off the San Andreas, but by measuring the reflections of sound off the 200-foot-deep lake bed, geophysicists at UC San Diego discovered around 17 mini-faults angled toward the mainline. The researchers propose that the San Andreas and way underrated Imperial fault are literally pulling apart the Salton Sea’s crust like greedy brats at a pizza party. When the surface gives into either of their pulls, rather than just shifting in one of their directions it slips deeper into the basin.

While this adds an unneeded extra layer of shit to the lives of the Sea’s and nearby Slab City’s assorted denizens, it does provide a helpful opportunity to quake-watchers. Tremor-inducing activity activity occurs deep within the bowels of the earth, just above hell, which makes Imperial Valley’s incredible shrinking lake a potential window to the seismic events leading up to the ultimate demise of California. Science!

By ALEX DUNBAR 2 years ago

Comments