Dos & Don'ts

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Ex-hippie dad sucks because he refers to his four-year-old daughter as "man" and gets weird when you ask for advice about anything other than music. Regular dad sucks because he thinks "ass" is a swear and has the same three jokes on permanent rotation. Dads that land dead in the middle raise such perfect, marryable children they turn everybody they meet into a drooling Jewish grandmother at the supermarket.

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