Sorry ladies, I know you like talking about “buns” because it makes you feel like a saucy oversexed aunt, but we’re taking back the butt. We just appreciate it more. It took my girlfriend 15 years of fucking to realize that guys’ assholes tighten when they come, meanwhile I wrote my dissertation on Perineal Tremoring in the Urogential Triangle from memory. The things gays could tell you about the ass would be indistinguishable from magic.

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