Dos & Don'ts

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If you ever make it all the way to being a parent, just remember that when she says, "Is it OK if I stay at Joanna's? We're halfway through this project and her dad will give us a lift to school in the morning," she means, "I'm 16, I'm backstage, we're smoking indoors, Joanna's sitting on DJ Techno Rap's knee, and they're having dope delivered to their dressing room. This is the best night of my shitty, shitty life and if you make me come home I promise you I'll murder mum with the fucking swear jar."

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