We highly advise against stealing a woman’s iPhone on the street and being chased for blocks by a ripped 6'8" 260-pound monster who, when he finally catches up to you, throws you to the ground and sits on your chest and waits for the cops to arrive. Then, when you beg him to let you go because you’re “only 16 and really hungry,” his girlfriend says to “enjoy the cheese sandwich in juvie!”

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