Dogs are ostensibly great, but then you have to walk them two times a day, dress them in artisanal booties, listen to them talk and talk about how everyone is just a sack of blood with skin, blah, blah, blah, and now your kids won’t return your texts and people cross the street when they s...


I legitimately don’t know whether to give this lady my spare change or sell all my belongings, build a shack in Christiania with her, and smoke resin together until we die.