Brett Gelman

Articles by Brett Gelman

  • Rat Tail

    Listen to Rat Tail's '2 Butts 4 the Price of 1'

    Check out the long-lost classic by the completely unknown white 80s hip-hop artist, Rat Tail, whose current whereabouts are unknown.

  • Rat Tail

    We Shootin’ Hoops

    Listen to "We Shootin’ Hoops," the long-lost classic by the completely unknown white 80s hip-hop artist, Rat Tail, whose current whereabouts are unknown.

  • Rat Tail

    “The Story of Oh Donna”

    Listen to the long-lost classic “The Story of Oh Donna,” by the completely anonymous white 80s hip-hop artist Rat Tail, whose current whereabouts are unknown. We discovered this track a year ago on a cassette tape that was wrapped in a ball of human hair in a garbage dump in Guad…

  • Rat Tail

    “KevEn 11 is My Homie”

    “KevEn 11 Is My Homie,” is a collaboration between the mysterious KevEn 11 and the heretofore completely anonymous white 80s hip-hop artist Rat Tail, whose current whereabouts are unknown. It was transcribed from a cassette tape discovered last November, wrapped in a ball of huma…

  • Rat Tail

    “DAAAAAAMMMNNNNNNN”

    Listen to “Daaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmmmmnnnnnnn,” the long-lost classic by the completely unknown white 80s hip-hop artist, Rat Tail, whose current whereabouts are unknown. We discovered the song last November on a cassette tape that was wrapped in a ball of human hair in a garbage d…

  • Rat Tail

    "Motorola Queen"

    Here are the lyrics to the long-lost classic “Motorola Queen” by the completely unknown white 80s hip-hop artist, Rat Tail, whose current whereabouts are unknown. It was transcribed from a cassette tape discovered last November, wrapped in a ball of human hair in a garbage dump i…

  • Rat Tail

    Listen to Rat Tail's Debut Single "Introducing Rat Tail"

    Earlier this month, we shared with you the lyrics to the mysterious rapper Rat Tail's lost classic "Introducing Rat Tail." Today Rat Tail's whereabouts are unknown, but his music lives on. Thanks to us, you can stream the legendary rapper's debut track right now and absorb all of…

  • Combover

    Combover's Truth

    This town’s just one big concentration camp! It’s sunny Auschwitz. But I am my own Nazi. I keep me here. Ambition. The sweet tastes of temptation are wasting me away. Spiritually emaciated. About to fall flat and just die.

  • Combover

    Teenage Vacation Week

    I’ve been thinking back on the first film I ever produced, 'Teenage Vacation Week.' I was also in it. I played Jim Francino: A low-down, dirty pimp who had a thing for naval outfits. He convinces these two teens who are on vacation for a week to do a bunch of low-down and dirty t…

  • Combover

    Laugh Pig Laugh

    Two hours later: Regret. So much regret. There’s blood all over me. Not my blood. Chicken blood, or so they say. I don’t know where anyone gets all this chicken blood from, and the whole enterprise is definitely far from kosher.