Tubesteak

How to Suck an Uncut Cock

There comes a moment in every American cocksucker’s (and I use that term as an honorific) life when he/she pulls down a pair of trousers and is met not with a well-shorn sailor, but a hooded monk. Yes, I'm talking about the rare occasion (in America and Israel, at least) when you wind up with a foreskin in your hands. And, eventually, mouth. Full story

Tubesteak

How to Get Laid at the Gym

Most guys approach the gym like Clint Eastwood walking into a shootout: they want to be alone, they want to be very serious, and they'll kill anyone who comes near them. That is the exact opposite of the attitude you need if you want to score some gym-toned ass. Full story

You Will Never Be as Rich as These Pets

You’re going to die a poor, sad schmuck. But do you know who is rich? Animals! The following pets are all millionaires, and you’re still trying to use that expired student ID to get two bucks off at the movies on Tuesday night. Full story

Tubesteak

Hey Straight People, You're Using Sex Drugs Wrong

The continued acceptance of homosexual men and lesbians by mainstream America means that some of the wonderful things that were kept in the darker nooks and crannies of the gay world are now seeing the light of day and, like most awesome things that gay people started, straight p… Full story

Three Days of Torture in a Male Chastity Device

Waking up with your dick locked in a plastic cage is the hardest part. It always takes a minute to remember why there is a crazy contraption squeezing the hell out of it. Full story

Tubesteak

What Your Underwear Says About You

Congratulations, you have convinced some poor fool to come back to your house from a bar/party/awkward OKCupid date and tricked them into thinking it's a good idea to have sex with you. While we all know dick size is really the only thing that matters, first impressions are prett… Full story

Tubesteak

My Very Gay Night at Very Straight Strip Clubs

I'm about as gay as Cristiano Ronaldo's underwear drawer, so the sultry photos plastered outside of New York’s mega strip club, FlashDancers, have never really interested me. Recently, though, I got to thinking, and as a man who loves sex, sex workers, the Platonic company of oth… Full story

Tubesteak

The Trials and Tribulations of the Fake Hymen

My boyfriend did not want to break my hymen. There is probably a certain sect of men who get off on popping cherries like they're a row of bubble wrap blisters, but I’m not a girl and this wasn't my first time. Full story

Tubesteak

How to Quit Porn and Not Entirely Ruin Your Life

There I was, lying in bed ass-naked at 1 AM on a Tuesday night with my eyes closed pulling on my limp dick like a bird trying to get a worm out of the frozen ground. This is what jerking off had become for me. I never should have given up porn. Full story

Why I Think Fashion Week Is Stupid

It's like a bunch of carnival barkers luring you into a freak show, but the Siamese twins aren't Siamese at all, it's just two bitches shoved in the same dress. Full story