MEET THE NIERATKOS - MIDLIFE CRISES MUST SUCK

This past weekend was Memorial Day, the day we are supposed to get drunk and remember all of those that have fallen fighting for America (Hey, Japan! I haven’t forgotten shit!). Now this day will serve as a special reminder for me after meeting a terribly tattooed 40-year-old mom at a BBQ on Monday: At the first sign of a midlife crisis, remember to put a bullet in m… Full story

Chunka Chunka Burnin’ Love

Elvis’s Big Baby Boy Never Says Diet (Except That He Did, and Lost 500 Pounds)

I love and collect all things Elvis. He is, to me, the definition of Americana and everything we hold holy. For my wedding in 2006, I rented a 1960 four-door DeVille because Elvis had one. Full story

Skinema

Debbie Duz Dishes Again

Does life imitate porn? Or does porn imitate life? I ask only because for the past eight months since my son was born I have been starring in a porno. Full story

MEET THE NIERATKO'S - THE ORIGIN OF HITLER

Did I tell you that I made a major groundbreaking discovery on Hitler recently? I did. Not sure how historians missed it (perhaps they didn't, since I don’t r… Full story

MEET THE NIERATKOS - WHY'S MY BACK ALL WET?

I have disappeared from your lives for two weeks and no one bothered to even call to see if I was ok. Yous guys are a bunch of dicks. I was going to throw a party and invite you bu… Full story

Skinema

Jersey Shore XXX: A Porn Parody

I hope they don't kick me out of Jersey for saying this but I've always hated the Jersey Shore. Full story

MEET THE NIERATKOS - HUNTER S THOMPSON COP PARTY

Are you familiar with the Hunter S. Thompson book Curse of Lono? It’s the tale of Ralph Steadman’s family and Thompson going to Hawaii to cover a foot race and getting trapped in a… Full story

MEET THE NIERATKOS- VANS AMS SING THE HITS

All skateboarders seem to be multi-talented. Most can paint or take photos or make small wooden benches for dollhouses and all sorts of other creative things. For the past week, I’ve been… Full story

Meet the Nieratkos - Who's Really Hood?

One constant criticism I get about Vice is that the magazine has somehow changed over the years. Full story

Skinema

Fuck Face

I have a weird friend. I don't know her name. I guess "friend" might be a slight overstatement. She is a ginger with extremely curly hair. Full story