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The Ennui of Raiders-Chiefs

"Will we remember this game any more or less than another when we are taking stock of our lives in our twilight years? Or is true meaning found in pursuits distant from the field: raising children, loving a wife, helping our neighbors in times of need? Ah, well, another day…” Full story

Hey Justice Scalia, Are These Sex Acts OK?

Antonin Scalia told Princeton students that bans on murder were equivalent to bans on homosexuality and that laws that prohibited "immoral" activity were fine. So what other sex acts would he be OK with us banning? Would Scalia like to make it illegal to masturbate in front of a Full story

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RGIII Is Number I in Our Hearts

The Redskins quarterback is something to feel good about in football, finally—it’s fun to watch a star bring a franchise back into the public eye, it’s fun to see an offense utilize an individual’s talents that effectively, and it’s fun to see a set of quirky formations triumph… Full story

Coffee, Coca, and Government Favors

If you hate the War on Drugs, Ricardo Cortés should be one of your favorite illustrators. I talked to him about his book, 'A Secret History of Coffee, Coca, & Cola,' which documents the cozy relationship that Coca-Cola had with the US government's drug-enforcement arm. Full story

All Around Losing - Stand-Up Comedy Is HARD

Harry attempts to follow in the footsteps of Louis CK and other schmucks-turned-comedy-idols by trying to become a stand-up comic. He starts at the very, very bottom, subjecting himself to New York's brutal open-mic scene, and quickly discovers that 1) making people laugh is nigh… Full story

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Being Alex Smith Sucks

Football is a depressing sport, whether you're the Kansas City Chiefs, the lamely-named San Diego Chargers, Aaron Rodger's mustache, or Alex Smith, who lost his job just when everything was coming up Milhouse for him. Sad faces all around. Full story

You’re a Pussy if You Think There’s a War on Men

Some traditionalists are "pissed off" about "women not being women" now because decades ago, lazy men didn’t have to worry about talented women taking their jobs. Now that women can dictate the terms of relationships and don’t need to latch onto a man as soon as possible, they ar… Full story

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Shut Up and Give Thanks for Football

In our weekly picks, we give thanks for rap songs about the Broncos, Chad Henne highlight reels, .gifs, old beer ads, and Pogs. We do not give thanks for the Cowboys. Full story

All Around Losing - I'm in a Hip Electronica Band and I Don't Know Why

In this episode of 'All Around Losing,' VICE associate editor Harry Cheadle gets sprayed with moth poop, swallows glowing balls, and dresses in chainmail—all in a misguided effort to become a rock star. His dreams of becoming a guitar god are doomed from the start, as he doesn’t… Full story

Why Not Let All the States Secede From the US?

Why not let Utah become a Mormon theocracy and allow Alabama to teach the Bible instead of science? Meanwhile, the other states could legalize marijuana, improve the social safety net, and provide free contraception to everyone without interference from their former countrymen. A… Full story