Baltimore’s Double Down Embraces a “Chicken Box” Full of Racial Stereotypes

This thing is a borderline racist (and seems completely racist until you realize that Andrea is the large woman rolling around in bed) mindfuck in the best possible way. Full story

Why Are You Doing This? – Cocaine Moustache

The other day I brought home the Cocaine Moustache promo. The picture on the cover is a bunch of assholes in ZZ Top suits standing in front of a weird car only grandpas know about. Full story

Kelly's Krush Korner - Paul Banks

Paul Banks is the lead singer of the NYC-based band Interpol and his voice sounds like a scary, sexy monster hiding underneath your bed, waiting for the chance to give you orgasms. Full story

Averkiou's "Go Matsumoto" Premiere

Our prime reason for premiering this track is because it's part of an EP that has a flying kitten on the cover. That seems legit enough, right? Full story

Hats Off, Lesbians

Gay Women and Their Moronic Headwear

Ever since junior high I've been two things: a lesbian and addicted to hats. Full story

Celebrity Fad Alert: Crotch-Eating Children

You'll never make the A-list if your kid isn't a lesbian. Full story

Kelly's Krush Korner - Megan Fox

I'm not sure what I was doing the other day to make me think of this, but out of nowhere I was like, "I CANNOT believe that Brian Austin Green gets to put his dick inside of Megan Fox." Full story

Too $hort Finally Brings Pimping to NYC

I was star-struck in this weird way that let me become quickly comfy enough to tell Too $hort that I masturbated to his music when I was little. Full story

Kelly’s Krush Korner – Common Folk Edition #1

Dear Vanessa Torres, do you know that your friend is offering your young body up to a middle-aged pervert who writes filth for the internet? Are you OK with this? Full story

Jeff Mangum Makes a Scary Face at BAM

Here's a firsthand account of Jeff's BAM show, copied directly from a friend's private Facebook message. He probably won't be too psyched about me throwing it up on the web. Full story