Kelly McClure
Aside from writing about music, she also interviews people and writes about boobs and doin' it. Her favorite food is pizza and she likes going on dates.
Articles by Kelly McClure
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Joan Crawford Can Really Belt It Out
While researching pantsuit/shoulder pad combos for my upcoming Joan Crawford Halloween costume, I came across all these videos of her singing. Full story
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SSION Tour Diary - Pictures from the Creepy Road
So SSION has been on tour (maybe for forever?) and one day they got in touch and were like "Hey, do you wanna see pictures from our adventures on the road?" Full story
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CMJ Bullshit - Pendu Sound Recordings Showcase
One of the first things I thought about this morning was how I for sure put my face right in front of Chris from Black Marble's face after they were done playing, and rambled off a monologue of awkward nonsense. Maybe he won't remember. Or I could just say that wasn't me. Full story
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CMJ Bullshit - The Terrible Records Showcase
Have you been wondering where to go to read some fresh and exciting coverage of this year's CMJ Music Festival? WELL HERE IT IS! Full story
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We Went to Blackout and Got a Penis Placed Upon Us
We all chickened out on going through the infamous Blackout Haunted House last year, but this year we all (well, most of us) survived it. Full story
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We Saw This: Morrissey
I had to keep reminding myself to pay attention and enjoy the songs being performed, rather than just repeat "COUNT DOWN TO NIPPLES" over and over in my mind. Full story
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VICE Premieres: "Black Sea of Trees" by Northumbria
Northumbria is from Canada and they make ambient metal that is cold, and bleak, and makes me want to do sex to an ice cube. Full story
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I Interviewed Tori Amos and Suffered Hysterical Blindness
We Interviewed Tori Amos about her new album, office bullies, third eyes, riding dragons as a metaphor for playing with an orchestra, and cinnamon gum. Full story
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Bisexuals and the Mythical "Get-Out-of-Monogamy-Free" Card
Moral of the story is, life is complicated. Just fuck whomever and don't be a stupid dick. Wait, no, the point is, bisexuals are attracted to a wider variety of people than heterosexuals, but that doesn't (always) mean that they have to have both at the same time. Full story
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The Most Minimal Record Ever Made
'WOW,' the most minimal record ever made, is one low tone that "plays" your record player, rather than your player playing it. I don't get it, but it for sure made my stinky tooth crown ache and rattle. Full story
Thought and Memory
New Fiction by Ed Park 
Malaysian Neo-Nazis
Fighting for a Pure Malay Race 
The Strongest Dwarf in New Jersey
Remembering My Tormentor 
Gay Men and Their Misogyny Problem
It's Not Cute Anymore 
Snooping Around Nicolas Cage's House
So Many Bummers 
Saudi Arabia's Feminist Revolution
It's Not Happening 
