Thomas Morton

Articles by Thomas Morton

  • Fringes

    War Gin

    Ugandans are the hardest drinking Africans in the motherland, both in terms of per capita consumption and the hooch they choose to chug. Waragi, or "war gin," is what they call the local moonshine, and it makes the harshest Appalachian rotgut taste like freaking Bailey's.

  • Uganda Look at This Slideshow?

    I've been here for a week during an ebola outbreak, which by broadcast news standards makes me an expert on Ugandan culture, politics, and society. So here is a definitive pictorial guide to the country "The Last King of Scotland" was set in.

  • The VICE Guide to Ugandan Sex Slang

    Hope this helps you understand that Ugandans are freer fuckers than you and me. I also hope it helps you find love next time you find yourself in the Four Kingdoms of the Great West Nile Republic. Just mind the AIDS please.

  • I'm Scared of Storks

    Look at this thing. Who let this happen? A vulture scrotum poking out of a mantle of filthy feathers affixed to a two-foot-long pair of rusted old scissors?

  • The Best Newspaper on Earth

    Uganda ranks 139 out of 170 in press freedom according to Reporters Without Borders, which must be some sort of French counting error because they publish the single greatest newspaper in the world, Red Pepper.

  • Dear VICE - Grass Widow Wants Nothing to Do with You

    "I read VICE's review of Grass Widow's record, and can't restrain myself from telling you that I find it fucking gross and despicable that you would run that excrement."

  • VICE News

    Bride Kidnapping in Kyrgyzstan - Part 1

    Thomas Morton travels to the Issyk-Kul region of Kyrgyzstan to investigate the Central-Asian tradition of bride kidnapping. In episode 1 we meet Kubanti, a young man who is determined to be married by sundown.

  • Something, Something, Something, Detroit

    After suffering through the nation's worst and most concentrated examples of racial violence, industrial collapse, serial arson, crack war, and municipal bankruptcy following years of municipal kleptocracy, Detroit is being descended on by a plague of reporters.

  • Americana

    The Quest for Moonshine

    Hunting for moonshine in South Carolina with the Black Lips.

  • Finally

    I'm generally into the idea of "standing up for nature" and "not turning the planet into an uninhabitable trashball," but the thing that's always kept me at arm's length from environmentalism is how completely selfish the better part of its proponents are.