We were driving through the desert in the middle of the night when we got stopped at a police checkpoint. They said we had been "flagged for narcotics" and I had a bunch of weed in my bag, so... fuuuuck.
Psst! Hey, pal, c'mere here a sec!
I was always conscious of my size, so losing weight felt like cutting a tether. After ten years of being overweight, I was free to move through space again, but I struggled to redefine my self-image.
One day, GG Allin took his son to the park. They started tossing some shit around, and, well, things got really messy when shit hit someone in the face.
My name is Nick Gazin, and I write about comics, art, books, nerd stuff, paper, and anything related to fan communities I find meaningful. Mostly, I review comics. Here are some comic reviews.
A tiny robot traveled across the galaxy searching for life or vegetation. He flew across the abyss trying to accomplish his mission, but instead discovered that space is very different than he expected.
This is the tragic story of Fashion Cat, a beautiful feline who became a millionaire and went straight from catnip to smoking crack in pet cemeteries.
Come one, come all to the Torture Castle! It's exactly like a carnival ride, except it's free and serves death instead of cotton candy.
Raymond, you need to talk to your son Geoffrey. He won't stop shitting in his pants.
One night, a customer stops by Blobby's house to buy weed. He invites Blobby to come with him to a cult meeting. The cult leader thinks he will kill Blobby, but Blobby has other plans.
After a girl accidentally eats poison, a cat appears and tells her he will give her the antidote... if she kills President Mitt Romney.
In the middle of the woods is a tree that bleeds. If you kill the tree and drink its blood, you get very high. And as you've probably already guessed, the kids are getting very high off the tree's blood these days.
You know that kid who wanted to be cool so badly he fell for bullies' pranks on the playground? That geeky kid who is on every Sunday morning cartoon? This is a story about that kid.
Dav is having one of those days. By "one of those days," we mean he's dealing with fire, helicopters, and stupid itty bitty humans who refuse to shut up.
Come, kiddies. Take another ride on the Torture Castle. There are beautiful knives, gorgeous fire places, and apes wearing crowns. It's fun, free, and FULL OF DEATH.
The True Story of a Pizza
Hey, Comic Book Lovers!
Alfred, there's a big turd coming out of the bat cave. Send in the toilet paper. Alfred? Are we out of toilet paper? Oh no. I'm going to have to find toilet paper. I'm going to have to... Dana nana nana nana BATMON!
E.T. was roaming the street robbing homies, when he ran into a dealer and asked him for Reece's Pieces. It didn't end well, but you probably already know that, because this is Johnny Ryan's page, not some 1980s Steven Spielberg kids movie.
"This beat makes me wanna toss a penny in a damn fountain and make a wish!"
Today, we forge ahead in the best tradition of our justice system, jury duty. In our hands, as Flowertown USA, we will serve justice. We will uphold the greatest aspects of the messy business that is sometimes called democracy... not!
Your funeral has a Facebook event. We're going to geo-tag the location and read your draft tweets aloud. Your urn is a hot spot, because of a Kickstarter you forgot about, and we built a bot from your web presence. It's almost the same as having you alive…
Step right up, go through the gate, and walk through the Torture Castle. There are no humans in site. There are only caskets, ghosts, and monsters. And even the ghouls are scared.
Effeminate cartoon bears annoyed the doctor, so he switched a Sunday morning cartoon's brain with a 1930s wise guy's mind. And that happened before everything got weird.